The Five Lessons of My Life

To be very frank, as a child I used to find it really hard to stay close to reality. For me, ‘seeing is believing’ and not once did I doubt the authenticity of what fascinated me. For once I was hugely influenced by Bollywood. I used to watch with huge, saucer-shaped eyes the scenic locations and the action scenes, not to forget the quintessential romance consisting of mainly song and dance sequences and running around the trees. But then, there was always something to pull me back to reality. For example, when I tried to float the dupatta in the air so that it would land softly on me but it had disastrous consequences. The dupatta, unfortunately was entangled in the fan and then I realized that Bollywood is not so real. So lesson#1 was to never ever believe Bollywood!

That was my ‘stop-acting-like-a-fool-and-get-real’ phase that I encountered quite early in life. I opened my eyes to the world but made sure that I kept my rose-tinted glasses aside. Unfortunately civilization takes strides while you manage to trundle along. It was tough to comprehend the world around you and you had to peel of the layers off people to see what actually lay underneath and more often than not, I was repulsed by the grim underbelly of someone’s personality. Lesson#2 was to never judge a person on the first meeting itself.

Okay, I got to admit it I suck at gossip. For half of the time I can’t comprehend why people seem to be so interested in the love life of some stranger. If that person is my friend then yes I would be curious to know the facts, but the truth will only come from the concerned person. So I don’t understand why people dissect other’s lives and at the risk of sounding sexist, I say it’s a female domain majorly. But the downside of showing disinterest is that you usually end up being alone and lose out on a major chance to socialize. The worst part is when you show undue enthusiasm to actively participate and when you end up saying something you shouldn’t have. Lesson#3 – Listen, nod, add a few over-the-top expressions but never speak in a way that might turn out against you. The real gossip mongers will always find out a way out of the mess anyway, so never enroll to be a scapegoat.

I find it hard to be a chamcha. I never make hasty judgments (thanks to lesson#2) and being the hopeless optimist that I am, I always try to look out for something good in the person instead of negative qualities. But nowadays I find it really hard to notice someone’s bright side for the simple reason they got no good left in them! And I reach this conclusion after being repeatedly hurt by that person. I give chances but after a limit you can’t take it. So such people move to my ‘evil’ list and after that I find it increasingly difficult to maintain a straight face while talking to such people. So I find it surprising that two people who still talk ill of each other but maintain to act as if nothing happened for the simple reason that they share a symbiotic relation. Give some, take some. So even if it was tough to me to accept, I realized I was losing out on a lot of things by giving the loser thunderous expressions. Lesson#4- Don’t be a chamcha, but at least be cordial with the villian.

Chocolate or butterscotch ice-cream? If you had asked me this question a few years ago I would be in a singular state of mind- confused. So my thoughts would be-I like chocolate but I had it a few days ago so should I try butterscotch? But what if it doesn’t turn out good enough? Is there a third flavor? So you see when the mind is clouded with silly questions, it was tough to take a decision. To top it all, there would be people advising you about what your next course of action should be. I am okay with advice, but I hate it when someone forces me. And I am not talking only about ice-cream, I am talking about life. If there is anything that I have learned in the twenty-two years of my existence is that the best decisions were the ones taken by me. Alone. Advice is great and you need to do a good deal of thinking on your options but you shouldn’t accept anyone’s advice just because they had a great track record. They are humans, baby and as vulnerable to fads and foibles as you. So my lesson#5 is to never drown out your inner voice because it’s the only asset you got.

So I sum up the major lessons of my life although I have learnt a few minor lessons too. Like never lie to mom that you didn’t steal cookies when you have crumbs on you face, never dream about Subway sandwiches because you wont be able to concentrate the whole day and to never run when not necessary because most of the time you end up on your face. Minor lessons but they are life altering. Trust me.