Aakhir Queue?

The queue is a good indicator of how civilised a society is since it denotes to what degree the public shows conformity to discipline. The purpose of a queue is to ensure fair treatment by following a simple principle of first in, first out although certain section of people have an inverted conception of the same.


In India, the queue is a non-existent identity. People have much difficulty maintaining a queue which is created for their own good. In school, we were whip-lashed with the string of whistle by our sports teacher since we never managed a straight line and kept swapping places to be closer to our friends and chatting in huddles.


Whether it is a temple,railway station or doctor's clinic, there will be one eminent personality who dares to jump the line and all hell breaks loose. There will be a bunch of monkeys ready to repeat the action. It is amazing how we are ready to imitate the bad examples before us but never the good ones. We will easily pick up the smoking and foul language but never make an effort to replicate the sense of social responsibility of Mohan Bhargav in Swades.


It is precisely the reason why I have frequent bursts of anger mostly at the railway station. There would be someone who will approach me with a puppy face and a sad story explaining about them being in a tearing hurry owing to some emergency . Being the idiot that I am, I end up helping them and more often than not, I see the same person cooing with his/ her lover at some mall.


It seems that I have built a reputation as the messiah of late-runners as I have been approached numerous times while in queue to buy them a ticket. With every bit of effort contorting a reprimanding face, I have gathered enough courage to refuse them and ask them to join the queue.


Let me tell you, this line jumping runs across all classes. A laptop carrying and poker-straight-hair swishing corporate will have no qualms about using her charms to break the line while dissolving all opposition with mere fluttering of eyelashes. A good looking guy will smile his dazzling 32s and get his work done while some female is busy crooning over him. The railways have introduced smart cards and coupons so that people don't have to stand in a queue when they are in a tearing hurry. But these misers would not shell out some extra bucks for the convenience.


While all this drama is going on, most people like me are left feeling like fools while the real fools will go around boasting of their talent to jump the queue. My message to them- Grow up you uncivilised dork! Being able to cheat is no real talent and when you go around loud-mouthing about your exploits, you are only portraying yourself as an uncivilized creature. You wouldn't dare repeating the stunt in some developed country, would you, you two-faced coward?

The Dynamics of Being Inert

They say when you know a disaster is lurking around the corner, you are prepared for it mentally and helps you deal with it in a planned manner. Just like the way you take in a deep breath before the waves come crashing and pull you deep inside the water. I knew this was coming so can't argue that I was taken by surprise, only that I could not cope with its sheer enormity. Frustration is the name.

It has been more than three months I am at home and let me tell you the first one month was absolute heaven. Rid of exams, I was left with so much time on my hands that I didn't know what to do of it. It was a heady feeling that made me giddy with happiness. So there was a lot of catching up with friends, loitering around at malls and hogging on food(this is applicable only for me).

I believe it becomes easier to wait when you are awaiting something,a s in my case, the result. The endless wait and the anticipation was easier to cope with because you were not alone. It was like waiting for the New Year- being alone on that day is a curse,but along with a bunch of friends life seems like heaven.

The results arrived and mercifully it was good. Not just for me, but for everyone around. For the past few years, I have been unable to indulge in the celebration of my results since it was always overshadowed by the sorrow of a friend who did not fare well. I am simply unable to feel happiness if someone important in my life is upset and that, I believe is the most basic human tendency. So for a change, this time we were able to enjoy the feeling of being an engineer and to the job awaiting us.

But suddenly it hit me- what now? Sure I had the company to wait for since I have not yet received the joining. My friends got cozy in their jobs so suddenly I was deprived of company to roam around and I felt guilty asking those tired souls to come out of their houses on holidays. I try to keep myself busy with household stuff and my mother is one delighted soul. I surf the Internet for recipes and cook them up and frankly I am glad it kills time though there is this nagging feeling inside me that I could have done better things with my time.

To top it all,I was missing last dates for all the courses I wanted to enroll and I am still to understand how I managed a feat like that. Then again started a fresh new cycle of waiting which is driving me freaking crazy now. I really have to restrain myself to use expletives on my blog just to show people how frustrated I am doing nothing. Those words sometimes do help people understand the enormity or seriousness of the situation.

Yeah I know people might suggest me to enroll for XYZ course but guys, I have my own list of things I want to do like enroll for a dancing class, a foreign language course or take up oil painting classes. Only that my wishes are shot down with alarming regularity by my parents and they are deemed unnecessary which makes me all the more mad. I have forever postponed enrolling for them since I was short on time and look at the irony now. I have time- the only necessary thing for the course but no permission to do so.

I find a bit of solace on the Internet since it takes my mind off the rage boiling inside me at the utter helplessness of my situation. I tweet, chat,do a bit of social networking and I am glad that a few hours have passed peacefully.And I say a few hours because mother reprimands me if I exceed an hour as she is more concerned with the electricity bill rather than my sanity.

Two days ago, I had a breakdown of sorts where I wept on my pillow and almost suffocated myself trying to muffle my sobs. It was liberating because I was finally breaking free from my illusions and accepting the fact that my life sucks for now. I don't have to put up a farce that I am enjoying it. I used to enjoy it but when you got no one to share your time, it is a bloody torture. That night when the tears flowed uninhibited till I could taste them in my mouth, I resolved to do something of my situation. The first thing I have to let go is my passivity and I have already started on this hell of a task. I don't know about the outcome of this resolution but at least it is a start.

I got lots of things planned, one being Art of Living course that starts today and goes on till this Sunday, four hours per day. I was never enthusiastic about doing it but when I saw what a rut I am stuck in, I jumped in. Will keep you updated :)

Euthanasia For Our Education System

I have a big problem with this education system and I believe I have a right to comment on it because I am product of this system. We have continued to churn out brilliant students who make us proud, yet we read grim news reports of how a graduate is forced to opt for menial and less deserving jobs. Why this great divide exists? For once, it has nothing to do with the child being schooled in a private or public institute. As a student for the past nineteen years, I have been able to figure out a bit about what ails our system.

Problem No. 1: Lack of proper environment
It is difficult to concentrate when the fan above you is whirling in a precarious manner and at the same time endure the stink from nearby toilet. You cannot expect kids to be mature and adjust to such circumstances, especially when they know they are better off at home. Believe me; the scenario I am describing is not that of a public school, it’s a reality even in private institute which charges hefty fees. For kids, schools should be something colourful and not drab and dull like the chuna on walls. Unfortunately not much has been done to create a conducive environment to stimulate their minds. Don’t you think kids would be much enthusiastic about sitting in a room complete with colorful benches and beautiful graffiti?

Problem No. 2: Too syllabus oriented
We can’t blame the teachers when they have a deadline to adhere to. The syllabus is defined so that the school may be able to cover the topics suited to the aptitude of students. But when did it become such a grave necessity? From what I know most of the professors are in such a big hurry to complete the syllabus that they take out the fun of learning. I can understand for board exams where uniformity is expected, but surely the other classes can be spared this treatment.

Problem No. 3: Disinterested professors
I don’t mean to disrespect the profession, but most people think teaching is a piece of cake. Nowadays, it has become increasingly difficult to find professors who have a passion for teaching. And the situation is worse in colleges because most of them are not answerable to anyone. In schools, if a teacher is not found performing as expected, the management tends to take corrective action on basis of feedback by parents. But in colleges, the opinion of students is rarely taken into account and even if they do complain, the management has its hands tied up because it is increasingly difficult to find a replacement. So life goes on and we stick back to sanskars taught by elders- learn to adjust.

Problem No. 4: More qualification = Good professor
Now this is the most nonsensical equation ever devised in the history of mankind. Institutes accept people for position of a teacher on the basis of the number of degrees they carry. What they fail to realize is that a large number of degrees does not make one capable to connect with students. It requires certain skills which are grossly overlooked during interviews and the result is a disinterested audience during lectures.

Problem No. 5: Too many choices and too many decisions
We all boast about the large number of choices available for the young generation, but I believe it only leads to more confusion. What is worse is that we are compelled to make the choices and that too the right ones at a very young age. How can you expect a teenager to decide whether to opt for Science or Commerce or Arts stream? Rather than getting influenced from our relatives and peers, I believe if we introduced a bit of every stream in portion, the student will get a brief idea about what to expect. That will make the decision making process a less headache inducing thing.

Problem No. 6: Less co-curricular activities
You must all be familiar with changes that accompany the transition from ninth grade to tenth ‘board’ standard. The first thing to be banned is participation in extra and co-curricular activities. And I am not talking about restrictions imposed by parents; I mean the rules laid down by school. They will conveniently use the time assigned for sports, art and crafts for completing the syllabus of some boring subject. Students will be banned from attending any sports events and field trips on the pretext of board exams. I agree academics are essential but don’t we risk losing a budding footballer in our midst if you ban him from the ground?

Problem No. 7: Too textbook oriented
All we have to do is mug up the contents of a thin textbook and we are sure to ace the exams. The result is that when we move to higher studies, it’s a bit of shock because we are expected to finish off a big book in a matter of few days. It is very important to inculcate the habit of reading in students because it is one asset which will help them sail through.

With this I end my thesis. I do have a lot to rant about but this post sums up the major points of my observation and experience of being a part of a rotten education system that continues to chug along happily while taking in hopeful students at one station and offloading a disgruntled bunch at the next station. I hope this train derails soon; we are in dire need of better modes of transport for students.

I.P.L.

The Indian Premier League (I.P.L.) auction for season three has opened a can of worms with the Pakistani players cold-shouldered by various franchisees. While many have cited the proposition as ‘too risky’ owing to visa issues, we all know it is just tip of the iceberg.

We must not forget the full form of I.P.L. - Indian Premier League and yesterday’s incident reinforces the fact that we are in no mood to forget 26/11. What surprises me is the sudden rise in anti- Pak sentiments. We all know that relations between the two nations are cold but it has always been discussed in hush-hush manner. One reason that can be attributed to this change was the class of people that were being targeted. Middle class has always been at the receiving end of mayhem caused but terrorists and unfortunately many of them have accepted it as a way of life. The rich crowd was relatively untouched and I use the term relatively because I know there scars and wounds still exist. When this group of elite, air-kissing and (mostly) SoBo public saw their swish hangout places turn into a picture of destruction and devastation, they were shaken to the core and they realized they have to break out of the trance. Forced to face a fight or flight situation, they had no option to break open their protective shell and fight in their own way. Many finally realized that walking around with high heels is not going to keep their feet safe from the muck.

With I.P.L. being dominated with Indian buyers, this unique show of solidarity has sent out a strong message that we won’t take it lying down. Although on a personal level I do feel bad for the Pak players because they have to earn their livelihood and this tournament is a bonus for anyone. But with Pakistan in self-denial mode about 26/11, a diplomatic approach is not going to help. Since we have given the royal ignore to their heroes, it might just stir up something positive in our dormant and sterile neighbours. After all, peace practiced due to fear is nothing but a suppressed war.

Being a Sport

I have never been involved to a large extent in sports owing to my limited stamina. In spite of this, I loved playing basketball in school. I was drawn to kabaddi for a while but it turned out to be too violent for my senses because at the end of the sports session in school, we were left with tore skirts, shirts or ties not to mention the innumerable bruises and layers of dirt on our body. Badminton is something I play for fun; I don’t know the rules and I convienently forgot to mention this to my doubles partner during our college sports fest and we lost because I gave away a lot of points due to sheer ignorance of rules. But what is appalling is that sports have never been endorsed as a profession in school and we always were made to think of it as something to freshen up our minds after too much of studies. Not many schools are keen to invest in good grounds and playing equipments to encourage budding sportpersons. I remember my school was the only one in my area to have a basketball court- the other schools were content with their dusty, unkempt grounds which was often rented for hosting marriages and other events.

So it is not surprising that the national level hockey players refused to attend practice sessions since they weren’t given their dues. The callousness of I.H.A. towards the up-keeping of hockey is disturbing. Instead of pacifying the striking players, they have threatened to terminate contracts and get them removed for the World Cup team. Does anyone even remember that our national game is hockey? The level of ignorance amongst the masses regarding this sport is not surprising. How many schools have a field for hockey? I don’t remember holding a hockey stick ever and if I wanted to be a hockey player, I would have to shell out a hefty membership fee of the nearby club. That’s what all aspiring hockey players have to do- break into their savings so that they can play hockey for a few hours. With that kind of investment in their training, it amkes buisness sense to recover the money else they would be left with bad debts. Sadly, the higher authorities are more concerned with hobnobbing with high profile Page Three celebrities to care about the player’s fees. Clearly, they are not concerned about how they will manage their next meal with a paltry sum in their hands.

The prejudice we have for sports will become much stronger if such incidents come to the fore. I am leaving out woman sportspersons here because the opposition faced by them is of a different kind. By the time they battle gender biases, most of them have lost steam to pursue their love for the game. But the recent incident will give a budding hockey player’s parents all the more reasons to wean their child away from his addiction to the national game. He will be shown news reports by his parents saying, “Hockey mein gaya to aise hi hoga.” (Though I believe the resistance would be much less if their son was a bat-wielding, window smashing and Sachin-worshipping cricket playing lad). The fear of a lost livelihood is enough to suppress any ambition.

What's Wrong With Us?

The country is abuzz with the Ruchika Girhotra case. A budding tennis player, Ruchika was allegedly molested by a high profile police officer who went to great lengths to mess up the girl’s life. His follow-up acts include arresting and harassing her brother Ashu Girhotra and striking Ruchika’s name off the school rolls. The trauma of molestation coupled with the harassment eventually pushed the girl to end her life. Finally the case has gained momentum with the guilty on the way to get booked for abetment for suicide, something that was long overdue.

Molestation victims are often ostracized socially at the very behest. People waste no time in raising doubts about the girl’s character and humiliating her. I don’t know why the way a girl dresses should be an open invitation for ruffians to molest her or pass lewd comments. That’s a much inverted sense of thinking because even Punjabi suit clad girls happen to be victims. So what was their fault then?

I believe we need stricter laws against molestation. The Romeos have a very good sense of law and are assured that even if a girl musters enough courage and reports to the police, they will be left off lightly. These cheapos consider their birthright to scan every girl in the neighborhood but will waste no time in thrashing the guy who checks out his sister. By making molestation a non-bailable offence, we can expect the number of such incidents to come down. This is being vouched by lawyers across the country but it will be a few years before we see the law getting passed.

I happened to read this article in HT where a criminal lawyer Shrikant Bhatt was of the opinion that molestation need not be a non-bailable offence since no interrogations are required while detaining the accused. According to him, the girls who wear skimpy clothes and make provocative gestures should also be brought to book. My advice to Mr. Bhatt- get a life dude. No one asked you to look at skimpy clothes or get provoked by their gestures. It all boils down to the perverted bent of mind which reads harmless gestures as being sexually provocative. This guy seems to be a misogynist who maybe was slapped by a girl wearing skimpy clothes just because he approached her thinking she was ‘available’. This kind of immaturity exhibited by a lawyer is appalling to say the least and I hope he receives appropriate criticism for his cheap comments.

2010 Kick-started.

Well, it has been a rather eventful week. My exams ended (finally) on the 31st and I realized that this is the first New Year’s Eve in the last three years which I have been able to celebrate wholeheartedly without that niggling fear of pending exams at the back of my mind. It was a small but definitely noisy terrace party with a couple of building friends. Technically speaking, my building doesn’t have a terrace because it does not have side walls on which you can lean upon. Keeping in mind the obvious danger, we decided to keep the booze out of this party (Don’t you get shocked, I was just kidding. I hate the smell of alcohol and equally hate stinky alcoholics). The terrace was swept clean after decades and I am sure they might have discovered something of archaeological importance by cleaning off the ancient dust. Hehe.

We danced like hell without giving a damn to the Peeping Tom in neighbouring building who was seemingly enjoying the ‘live’ telecast. We could have danced more but we got hungry because we had fasted the whole day so that we can stuff ourselves later at night. The food arrived almost two hours late and this goes without saying that we pounced on it. I was so full and sleepy that I didn’t wait for the game of dumb charades to end and returned home. It is a miracle that I didn’t doze off on the terrace staircase while coming down.

Next day I travelled for two hours to watch Three Idiots with college friends. Don’t ask me what made me do that, even I don’t know. But eventually, the movie made the travel worthwhile and my mind was brimming with ideas and thoughts on how to make my last term in college revolutionary. Of course such thoughts have a shelf life of one day. The shelf life of the thrill associated with the end of exams was even less. Soon, I was busy solving puzzles and brain teasers and what not to prepare for the aptitude test of a high profile company. It turned out to be a disappointment not because I was not able to crack the test but because some people cleared the test with unfair means. It is definitely not the case of sour grapes because the fact that I didn’t get selected doesn’t hurt that much; what hurts is to see people much deserving than me get rejected. The reason being a few cheaters divided the paper solving task amongst themselves and then exchanged answers.

This cheating thing is not something unheard of; I have seen it during every exam. I know so many people who never moved a muscle but still cleared their exams thanks to the chits flying in from the window straight onto their desks. But these people never got too far by resorting to these methods. They have been doing the same course since the last four years and still have not learned their lesson. This ultimately strengthened my belief that all these unfair practices can help you to a certain level, but you cannot go further. Until this aptitude test happened.

I am done with all the cribbing but I am genuinely feeling happy for Yuga. She was the top scorer in the aptitude test and we never had an inkling of doubt about her getting selected after the interview. What followed after that was a feast of chicken lollipop, chicken crispy, chicken schezwan rice and biryani. I did feel a bit guilty about eating non vegetarian food on a Tuesday but what the hell! I had so much fun along with friends that my failure now remains a distant memory. As of now, staying true to my hopelessly optimistic attitude, I am hoping that a much better company is in store for me :)

Creative Engineering ;)

I have always been inclined towards the creative side. In school I used to look forward to the arts and crafts lecture so that I would bring out my scissors, papers and what not out of my bag and watch in awe as the teacher would transform a roll of paper into a lovely coconut tree. Not many were as eager as me and since there was no concept of bunking in school, I would be surrounded by a disgruntled crowd who were waiting for the bell to ring. This goes without saying that I was the art teacher’s pet student because I pooled in my own ideas and improvise on the technique and the next week I was showing off a better version of my previous work.

Even in the drawing and painting lecture, I used to bug the teacher asking her for new techniques for painting and whether there is any new art-and-crafts related product in the market. This interest reached a new level and I advanced to making new and much beautiful work of art. I made flowers out of brightly coloured flower stockings and solawood paper. I even tried making it out of grated soap like I had seen it on television but it didn’t turn out that well. I love ceramic painting and glass painting but they were a costly affair so I had to somehow restrict myself. I then moved on to making gel candles which was the best thing that happened to me. It doesn’t cost a bomb and plus they make great gifting options. It is fun trying to mix and match the decorative stuff to fill inside the glass so that the colorful beads stand out in the clear gel.

I enjoy writing and blogging too. I believe if you have to be a good writer, you should have a strong opinion on everything. I sort of fit well into this criteria. I have to thank my English teachers at school for bringing out the dormant talent in me. I never realised I write well until the teacher made it a habit to read my essays in the class. My ideas were a bit feminist with the topics veering mostly to female liberation and equality and I had an ally in my teacher. She was more than happy to share the views of an eighth grader who surprisingly shared her opinion.

Alias always tells me that I should have been into writing or into a profession that exploits my writing abilities and not into a technical field like engineering. I somehow don’t feel that way because I don’t want to kill my interest by making it my profession. When I write a blog post, it is with the comfort factor that I don’t have a deadline to meet. If I was asked to write an article within x days I won’t be able to produce the expected result. That is why I took up blogging because I post when I feel I have a strong topic and not just for increasing the number of my blog post. Engineering on the other hand is a challenge. It’s so huge and endless that I have something to keep me busy for years on end. With new technological advents I will be having something new to discover every single day. The best part is that I can share my views on this via writing. I believe when you have a creative edge, you tend to have a better understanding of the people and situation around you. After all engineering is not just about having technical expertise; it’s also about how you work for the greater benefit with a group of likeminded individuals.

I can draw parallels between engineering and candle making. Isn’t engineering also about finding the right gems of people and combining them to make a candle which not only looks beautiful but also illuminates your surroundings with a warm glow?

Wild Goose Chase

There have been very rare occasions when exams have frustrated me to such an extent. Now many may find it abnormal, but exams have rarely intimidated me. Not because I was well versed with every subject but I because I had faith in my management skills. With my college running on nine-to -five schedules, it becomes really difficult to manage studies and at the same time handle your social life. So I made up for the lost time by studying really hard on holidays and the much awaited preparatory leave.

But this time I made an extra effort to study during the college schedule. Whenever I find some subject interesting, I go for the reference books. I did that with Electronics where I devoured Boylestead which was a book equal to my own weight. Then in Microcontrollers I studied Mazidi with such interest that my mom thought I was reading a Harry Potter book hidden within it. The good thing about these books is the use of simple, lucid language. The flow is absolutely wonderful and every single term was presented in an uncomplicated way so as not to scare off the reader. That’s the way I believe is right way to study and even in this semester I stuck to it.

But the problem with this method is that it doesn’t prepare you well for your written exams. Getting conceptual knowledge is one thing but presenting it on paper where the examiner is looking for specific words to assess your knowledge is completely different story. I did a lot of hard work for this semester. I don’t remember studying for almost eight hours every single day in any of my previous semesters. But the papers turned out to be a big disappointment and that’s when frustration sets in. I realized while I was busy getting my concepts cleared, I had left out quite a few vital topics which are repeatedly asked in exams. I realized this during the first exams so I went into damage control mode. For the following exams I tried to cover up every single chapter (with the obvious risk of losing out on the concepts) and was feeling a bit confident. But this time I got all muddled up in the end and plus the paper was completely conceptual so I realized I had screwed up my papers.

I managed to write two papers really well but the remaining two have got me all worked up. After three years into engineering, I had become quite a pro in cracking the exams but I am now shrouded in self doubt. As of now I am searching for some pattern in these papers so that I can ensure a smooth ride for myself in my last semester. Or am I on a wild goose chase?

Enough Said But Not Enough Done

Time is really a strange term. It flies when you don’t notice it and when you do, its inching away at terribly slow speed. It’s been a month since television channels started airing undisclosed footages and paying tributes to those who went away to never return back. Some even reviewed the security post 26/11 at sensitive spots to expose the apathy of a Government who hasn’t yet learnt its lesson. A year down the line, nothing has changed really. Mr. R.R. Patil whose famous quotes still make my blood boil is back as a Minister. So are many other politicians who went on terror tours.

No matter how much is being said about the fortification of the city by the Mumbai Police and other assorted forces, we all know the truth. It is this truth or rather the realization of it is reflected in the eyes of the average Mumbaikar. People talk endlessly about the ‘spirit’ of Mumbai and how the city has a habit of bouncing back from every calamity that continues to mar its beauty. I have a question- Do we have any other option? The wealthy guys will stop going for work for a month and quit travelling by first class in locals and opt for private transportation instead, the middle class will take a leave of two days and then resume going back to the old grind but what about those whose salary is on a per day basis. Can this guy afford to stay back at home citing fear of a terror attack? Everyone tries to put up a brave front and act tough and at the end of the day, the fear of losing your livelihood overrules the fear of losing your life. This is the spirit we all talk about.

Shabana Azmi rightly said “We are a society looking for short-term solutions to long-term problems.” So many citizen groups were formed after the attacks stressing the need for a secure neighborhood. Facebook and Orkut had hundreds of communities and groups coming up to which people swarmed to express their solidarity. How many of them are active right now? These people aren’t even close to what they are trying to be- heroes. My hero is the victim who has the guts to visit the same place where he escaped death and speak about it. My hero is the widow who continues to run from pillar to post trying to get compensation instead of indifference from the Government. My hero is the policemen who patrol the streets assuring people of their safety when they know that their pistol won’t come close to killing the terrorist and the only weapon they have is their courage. My hero is Karambir Kang and many others like him who chose to respond to the call of duty even when their own safety was at peril. My hero is Ratan Tata who re-opened the Taj in a matter of few months to show that the there a few cracks in the building is not enough to break his courage. This is the spirit we should be talking about and not the spirit to travel again in local trains after the attacks.

After a year, all I wish to do is to pray for the victims and their family because it is not easy to draw strength knowing that your loved ones could have been saved. It requires immense resilience to accept the fact Kasab alive and that your money is spent on keeping him alive. I just hope this is the last time I express my anguish over our own apathy and helplessness. Let this be the last time please.