Random Poems of A Mumbling Mind

Discovered some drafts lying around and decided to combine them. More updates on my trip to Mangalore coming soon.

Hundreds of things left unsaid,

A hundred dues unpaid,

A lifetime is never enough,

To clear the wreckage of sins.

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A shooting star streaked across the sky,

Setting its path aglow,

"How can a broken star",thought I

"On a downward spiral grant your wishes?"

****************************

She cast a glance at the limousine,

The diamonds catching the afternoon sun,

The beggar smiled at the beauty she saw.

The lady in the car shielded her eyes,

For she could not bear the pearly smile,

Glinting in the sunshine.

Two lives.

Separated by a chasm of contentment.

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Evident From My Blog Title

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

~Anatole France

Life has a strange timing of granting your wishes- it makes them come true when you are spewing cynicism and the light at the end of the tunnel seems like another mirage. The break that I have been cribbing about landed on my lap when I had come to accept the monotony of my life.

Although the planning had been on for a week, given my reputation of flopped plans [:D], I tried not to get overtly excited about the whole thing. As the week progressed, I saw the location change three times and the number of people dwindle from ten to five. Had it not been for a very determined group of five people desperate to make it a success, this trip would never had happened. And I am glad, it did not fall apart.

We did the usual touristy things- roamed around the market, shopped for sovereigns, saw the same mountain from five different points/locations and went boating. There were moments when we simply sat on the edge, looked across the horizon, five people lost in thoughts and musings of their own.

I realised I travel differently- the excitement of seeking familiarity is more than that of discovering new places. Here, staring out of the window opening to a postcard-perfect view, I could not help thinking about settling there and writing a book, roaming around on cold mornings in the twisted alleys, cupping hot tea glasses for warmth and reading Robert Frost poems in the dead of night.

My memories are not of the perfect landscapes I witnessed but of laughing till my sides hurt, of endless brooding over life's unnecessary complications, of comfortable silences and of feeling something stir within. This is what I seek in a trip and from what I know, the journey has just begun.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -

I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

Little Pockets of Hope

"Hope" is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soulAnd sings the tune without the wordsAnd never stops at allAnd sweetest in the Gale is heardAnd sore must be the stormThat could abash the little BirdThat kept so many warmI've heard it in the chillest landAnd on the strangest SeaYet, never, in Extremity,It asked a crumb of Me.~Emily Dickinson

It has happened so on numerous occasions that I tuck my hands in my pocket only to discover a princely ten rupees note or a toffee or a train ticket with some memorable journey printed on it. It never ceases to amaze me that such a tiny discovery can make you smile or take you back in time. It has all but reinforced one life lesson- When in doubt, look within!

There have been desperate times when I am so unclear about what to do and just like that, I stare pensively out of the window only to hear 'Tu Na Jaane Aas Pass Hai Khuda' stream in melodies into me. Or when I am travelling in an auto, mulling over some issue, when I see a Scorpio pass by, with a picture my favorite deity plastered on the window. Or when I am in a particularly upset over a tiff when the timeline throws up a tweet 'There is never a moment when God is not in control', asking me to let go. Or when I am sitting dejected in the hall, absentmindedly surfing channels, when the neighbor's two year old kid walks in and takes my hand, as if acknowledging my pain.

I cling to these little moments of hope and they seem to have immense potential to rescue me from the dungeons of gloom. Over so many years, I have seen my attitude towards bad times undergo noticeable, if not radical, change. Someone else might have dismissed the kid's action as merely a cute gesture but I chose to look at it differently- it was more of a positive sign offering much needed assurance as I saw it. But believe me, they go a long way in uplifting your mood and in a way, your circumstances.

At some point, we all need our 'Aal iz well' moments in life. All you need to do is look into your pockets for that one sign. Go search yours.

First Steps

A lot has happened since I returned back to Mumbai. You know that saying about life balancing out everything? It seems to be so true. I managed to get a wonderful project with the downside of spending four hours in travelling. Thankfully, I do not have to face the wrath of rush hour since I leave for office pretty early and arrive home equally late.

This goes without saying that the weekends now have the status of festivals- sacred, brief and highly revered. I am now a miser when it comes to spending time on chores and meeting people, much to the agony of relatives and friends.

Sadly, I am yet to perfect the art of time management considering how pressed for time I usually am. The to-do list is hardly glanced at in the course of the day and as a consequence most of the items remain unchecked.

Oh, did I tell you about the rush of feel-good hormones on seeing the salary arrive in your account? Knowing that you are financially independent is a huge reassurance altogether especially when you have striven for four years to achieve it.

I know my writing might seem a bit haywire but I am pouring my random thoughts together with the hope it makes some sense to you. I believe writing things down is the best way to take stock of your life, it gives you a third-person dimension to your perception about the proceedings of life and may help me chalk out a plan for future. Till then, I shall go with the flow hoping that whatever happens is for the best.

Wrapping It Up

The past is a funny thing. When I look back at all the not-so-happening episodes of my life, I itch to reverse time and do things differently. When I look back at all the moments oozing of happiness, I feel heavy with emotions since I never know if I would ever feel the same again.


This year I have decided to look at the past as a distant observer; this enables me to stay a step back but yet indulge in the flow of flashbacks, albeit with fewer emotions. It is improper of us to judge what is good and what is not with respect to the past since it has already rushed past us with little regard for our opinions now.


This list of the important events(in no particular order) in the year 2010 is my way of assuring myself that all things-good or bad have to come to a definite conclusion. If things are not ending the way you want to, well, there is always another year to fix it up!

1. Loving my cousins' kids. Three children are quite a handful but they never ceased to amaze me with their ability to make things appear so simple. It only made me love kids even more.

2. Climbing over a high divider to cross over to the other side of a bumper-to-bumper traffic afflicted highway.

3. Studying real hard with absolutely no expectations and being delighted when things turned out to be good.

4. Reading a dozen books even during exams. Earlier reading was a hobby; now it is my escape route from reality.

5. Dancing like hell with college friends till I was all huffy-puffy with the dust storms I kicked up on the college ground.

6. Indulging the foodie in me and gaining 8 k.g.s without an ounce of regret.

7. Dressing up in a sari. I never thought I would say this, but I am in love with this outfit. It makes me feel so... womanly. The baggy tee girl has finally grown up, I guess.

8. Weeping on college farewell party. Not because I was high on emotions but because the guys were wailing!

9. Cutting off certain people from my life. They were sucking out my spirits and happiness like Dementers rendering me glum and listless. The sun now seems brighter and the world a much better place to live in.

10. Clearing the University papers with kick-ass marks and clinching a job. I have never felt so proud of myself.

11. Admitting to the mistakes I have done only made me a stronger individual of steely grit.

12. Starting to read Bhagvad Gita made me more conscious of my actions.

13. Realizing that self-assurance is that invisible shield which will protect me from harsh people and their opinions.

14. Getting to know the difference between optimism and delusion.

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”

No matter how terrible and horrendous 2010 was, you can never stop imagining and hoping good thing for the future. I am no different... So here's to a new year ushering in cheer and triumph over evil. Happy New Life to all!

Excavated Poetry

I had penned this poem in eighth standard for Teacher's Day celebrations but somehow I never recited it for reasons I fail to recall. I remembered about this poem when I was asked to contribute for the same event in engineering college, so I rummaged through my papers(full of scribblings in illegible handwriting) and was lucky enough to find the poem. But yet again, the poem did not see the light of the day.

There goes the history of the poem. Now go ahead and read it!

It's amazing

how we started with,

One block by me,

The other by you,

Never noticed when you turned those blocks

into steps.

Steps that led me,

Towards light and knowledge.

And that's when realisation dawned,

It's amazing

The word 'teacher',

Because you teach me,

Whenever I err.

Happy teacher's day!

P.S. If you are thinking that this does not qualify as a poem, you may be right. But try thinking from the point of view of a fourteen year old and it may not appear that bad.

Waterproof Farewell

Well, to begin with, I attended the farewell party of my B.E. batch on the 30th of April. Everyone was quite excited about it because apparently this was the first 'official' party organised by the college for the outgoing batch. So the girls all looked pretty decked up in saris and the guys looked handsome in their best formals.

It is quite normal to expect lots of teary goodbyes and hours spent reminiscing cherished moments spent in the college. But I suprised myself by keeping my emotions under check. For a girl who cries at the drop of a hat, all I did was sniffle with moist eyes.

Imagine a situation where you have been diagnosed with some terminal illness. You know your days on this planet are numbered and this realisation occurs after much self-denial so that when the final moment arrives, you will have done enough things to make you happy. When our life becomes time-bound, we start sticking to our 'Things-to-do' list more diligently,carefully chalking out plans so that you can tick off one item after another. I guess most of my friends are in the same situation.

When I was in Third Year, I knew the end of college was imminent and suddenly I found myself observing time. When in the early years of college, you wouldn't even notice certain things around you,owing largely to the 'taken-for-granted' attitude. But now, I started taking in the atmosphere and made a more conscious effort to personalize my experiences. For example, I started enjoying time at the lake occasionally feeding the fishes and enjoying the sight of the school of fishes breaking the calm of water to catch bits of food. Or for that case, checking out benches where I has scribbled random thoughts or etched my name out during a boring lecture. Or checking out every single dish in the canteen which you didn't try in the previous years. Or hugging someone for no reason.

When your life is spent experiencing such things, you hardly get time to mourn the end. You happily accept it because you have a buffer of beautiful memories which will protect you while you hurl down a dark chasm of uncertainty and darkness. I realize that farewells are necessary to help you filter out people and stay in touch with those who really mattered. We were insecure when we stepped from school to junior college and then to senior college but in spite of the hundreds of friendships that were forged, we tend to remember only those who have touched our lives. So let us not think of this farewell as something nasty and a grim reminder of the big bad world ahead of us. Let us think of it as an opportunity to enjoy a new phase in our life where we will be enjoying our hard-earned money and well-deserved freedom. Cheers to that!

Euthanasia For Our Education System

I have a big problem with this education system and I believe I have a right to comment on it because I am product of this system. We have continued to churn out brilliant students who make us proud, yet we read grim news reports of how a graduate is forced to opt for menial and less deserving jobs. Why this great divide exists? For once, it has nothing to do with the child being schooled in a private or public institute. As a student for the past nineteen years, I have been able to figure out a bit about what ails our system.

Problem No. 1: Lack of proper environment
It is difficult to concentrate when the fan above you is whirling in a precarious manner and at the same time endure the stink from nearby toilet. You cannot expect kids to be mature and adjust to such circumstances, especially when they know they are better off at home. Believe me; the scenario I am describing is not that of a public school, it’s a reality even in private institute which charges hefty fees. For kids, schools should be something colourful and not drab and dull like the chuna on walls. Unfortunately not much has been done to create a conducive environment to stimulate their minds. Don’t you think kids would be much enthusiastic about sitting in a room complete with colorful benches and beautiful graffiti?

Problem No. 2: Too syllabus oriented
We can’t blame the teachers when they have a deadline to adhere to. The syllabus is defined so that the school may be able to cover the topics suited to the aptitude of students. But when did it become such a grave necessity? From what I know most of the professors are in such a big hurry to complete the syllabus that they take out the fun of learning. I can understand for board exams where uniformity is expected, but surely the other classes can be spared this treatment.

Problem No. 3: Disinterested professors
I don’t mean to disrespect the profession, but most people think teaching is a piece of cake. Nowadays, it has become increasingly difficult to find professors who have a passion for teaching. And the situation is worse in colleges because most of them are not answerable to anyone. In schools, if a teacher is not found performing as expected, the management tends to take corrective action on basis of feedback by parents. But in colleges, the opinion of students is rarely taken into account and even if they do complain, the management has its hands tied up because it is increasingly difficult to find a replacement. So life goes on and we stick back to sanskars taught by elders- learn to adjust.

Problem No. 4: More qualification = Good professor
Now this is the most nonsensical equation ever devised in the history of mankind. Institutes accept people for position of a teacher on the basis of the number of degrees they carry. What they fail to realize is that a large number of degrees does not make one capable to connect with students. It requires certain skills which are grossly overlooked during interviews and the result is a disinterested audience during lectures.

Problem No. 5: Too many choices and too many decisions
We all boast about the large number of choices available for the young generation, but I believe it only leads to more confusion. What is worse is that we are compelled to make the choices and that too the right ones at a very young age. How can you expect a teenager to decide whether to opt for Science or Commerce or Arts stream? Rather than getting influenced from our relatives and peers, I believe if we introduced a bit of every stream in portion, the student will get a brief idea about what to expect. That will make the decision making process a less headache inducing thing.

Problem No. 6: Less co-curricular activities
You must all be familiar with changes that accompany the transition from ninth grade to tenth ‘board’ standard. The first thing to be banned is participation in extra and co-curricular activities. And I am not talking about restrictions imposed by parents; I mean the rules laid down by school. They will conveniently use the time assigned for sports, art and crafts for completing the syllabus of some boring subject. Students will be banned from attending any sports events and field trips on the pretext of board exams. I agree academics are essential but don’t we risk losing a budding footballer in our midst if you ban him from the ground?

Problem No. 7: Too textbook oriented
All we have to do is mug up the contents of a thin textbook and we are sure to ace the exams. The result is that when we move to higher studies, it’s a bit of shock because we are expected to finish off a big book in a matter of few days. It is very important to inculcate the habit of reading in students because it is one asset which will help them sail through.

With this I end my thesis. I do have a lot to rant about but this post sums up the major points of my observation and experience of being a part of a rotten education system that continues to chug along happily while taking in hopeful students at one station and offloading a disgruntled bunch at the next station. I hope this train derails soon; we are in dire need of better modes of transport for students.

Creative Engineering ;)

I have always been inclined towards the creative side. In school I used to look forward to the arts and crafts lecture so that I would bring out my scissors, papers and what not out of my bag and watch in awe as the teacher would transform a roll of paper into a lovely coconut tree. Not many were as eager as me and since there was no concept of bunking in school, I would be surrounded by a disgruntled crowd who were waiting for the bell to ring. This goes without saying that I was the art teacher’s pet student because I pooled in my own ideas and improvise on the technique and the next week I was showing off a better version of my previous work.

Even in the drawing and painting lecture, I used to bug the teacher asking her for new techniques for painting and whether there is any new art-and-crafts related product in the market. This interest reached a new level and I advanced to making new and much beautiful work of art. I made flowers out of brightly coloured flower stockings and solawood paper. I even tried making it out of grated soap like I had seen it on television but it didn’t turn out that well. I love ceramic painting and glass painting but they were a costly affair so I had to somehow restrict myself. I then moved on to making gel candles which was the best thing that happened to me. It doesn’t cost a bomb and plus they make great gifting options. It is fun trying to mix and match the decorative stuff to fill inside the glass so that the colorful beads stand out in the clear gel.

I enjoy writing and blogging too. I believe if you have to be a good writer, you should have a strong opinion on everything. I sort of fit well into this criteria. I have to thank my English teachers at school for bringing out the dormant talent in me. I never realised I write well until the teacher made it a habit to read my essays in the class. My ideas were a bit feminist with the topics veering mostly to female liberation and equality and I had an ally in my teacher. She was more than happy to share the views of an eighth grader who surprisingly shared her opinion.

Alias always tells me that I should have been into writing or into a profession that exploits my writing abilities and not into a technical field like engineering. I somehow don’t feel that way because I don’t want to kill my interest by making it my profession. When I write a blog post, it is with the comfort factor that I don’t have a deadline to meet. If I was asked to write an article within x days I won’t be able to produce the expected result. That is why I took up blogging because I post when I feel I have a strong topic and not just for increasing the number of my blog post. Engineering on the other hand is a challenge. It’s so huge and endless that I have something to keep me busy for years on end. With new technological advents I will be having something new to discover every single day. The best part is that I can share my views on this via writing. I believe when you have a creative edge, you tend to have a better understanding of the people and situation around you. After all engineering is not just about having technical expertise; it’s also about how you work for the greater benefit with a group of likeminded individuals.

I can draw parallels between engineering and candle making. Isn’t engineering also about finding the right gems of people and combining them to make a candle which not only looks beautiful but also illuminates your surroundings with a warm glow?

Wild Goose Chase

There have been very rare occasions when exams have frustrated me to such an extent. Now many may find it abnormal, but exams have rarely intimidated me. Not because I was well versed with every subject but I because I had faith in my management skills. With my college running on nine-to -five schedules, it becomes really difficult to manage studies and at the same time handle your social life. So I made up for the lost time by studying really hard on holidays and the much awaited preparatory leave.

But this time I made an extra effort to study during the college schedule. Whenever I find some subject interesting, I go for the reference books. I did that with Electronics where I devoured Boylestead which was a book equal to my own weight. Then in Microcontrollers I studied Mazidi with such interest that my mom thought I was reading a Harry Potter book hidden within it. The good thing about these books is the use of simple, lucid language. The flow is absolutely wonderful and every single term was presented in an uncomplicated way so as not to scare off the reader. That’s the way I believe is right way to study and even in this semester I stuck to it.

But the problem with this method is that it doesn’t prepare you well for your written exams. Getting conceptual knowledge is one thing but presenting it on paper where the examiner is looking for specific words to assess your knowledge is completely different story. I did a lot of hard work for this semester. I don’t remember studying for almost eight hours every single day in any of my previous semesters. But the papers turned out to be a big disappointment and that’s when frustration sets in. I realized while I was busy getting my concepts cleared, I had left out quite a few vital topics which are repeatedly asked in exams. I realized this during the first exams so I went into damage control mode. For the following exams I tried to cover up every single chapter (with the obvious risk of losing out on the concepts) and was feeling a bit confident. But this time I got all muddled up in the end and plus the paper was completely conceptual so I realized I had screwed up my papers.

I managed to write two papers really well but the remaining two have got me all worked up. After three years into engineering, I had become quite a pro in cracking the exams but I am now shrouded in self doubt. As of now I am searching for some pattern in these papers so that I can ensure a smooth ride for myself in my last semester. Or am I on a wild goose chase?

Priorities and options

Diwali is a great time really. Apart from the obvious joy of lighting up your homes, splurging on new clothes and gorging on sweets, I think it’s a great time to clean up the mess from our lives. I haven’t been really active on the clean-up scene at home but this time it was different. I took up the mantle of organizing the cupboard and my book shelf. Herein the problem lies. I am a clothes freak; I consider it to be a major disaster if I repeat my clothes more than once a week. It was quite a task to clean up the clothes section and I finally managed to sort them into the following – clothes which won’t ever fit, clothes which will fit if I gain a few pounds and clothes which I am using presently but won’t fit if I gain a few pounds. The section of ‘old clothes’ is avoided for the simple reason that my wardrobe gets updated with alarming regularity.

But I think cleaning up your things is therapeutic. Seeing things sorted urged me to take hold of my own life and fix it up. You see, my life has been quite eventful especially after I took up engineering. During the course of time I got rid of a ‘friend’ with a perverted bend of mind, struggled with studies and dealt (or rather still dealing) with nasty politics All of these experiences required immense emotional strength on my part and sometimes I couldn’t even sum up enough courage to narrate them to my close friends.

The reason why I was apprehensive to confide is that somewhere I am partly to be blamed for the circumstances that befell upon me. Being a complete emotional fool, I ended up trusting the wrong kind of people who, at the very behest, had listed out the advantages of being my friend. When you trust someone, it is a natural tendency to turn a blind eye to their flaws while going out of the way to help your ‘friends’. You end up supporting them during every situation even when you know that this will create enemies for yourself.

All is rosy, you are having the time of your life and after so many years you start feeling you have got a friend for life. Now comes the reality part. It hits you hard when you get to know what’s going on in their lives from someone else just because your ‘friend’ didn’t trust you enough. If that was not enough, lies, deception and back-stabbing come to the fore and this is when it hurts you badly. Then your mind goes back to all those words of advice from your close ones who had asked you to stay away from this person and you chose to ignore it…. Thankfully they have forgiven me and continue to hold my hand every time I stumble.

So now I know I have no right to blame someone else for this condition of mine. It was my decision to trust and believe the wrong kind of people. Even after all the misgivings, it is still painful because shunning them is like bypass surgery. You don’t want to cut open your heart, but it is essential to do so if you don’t want it clogged with greasy traces of someone who doesn’t give a damn about you.
‘Never make someone your priority when they consider you as just an option’……. I realized the meaning of this quote for the first time. Meanwhile, I am bracing myself for another round of bypass, but not before a promise to self that this will be my last one. I need to guard my heart a bit strongly to make sure that any Tom, Dick, Harry or Sally doesn’t grease my arteries. Say NO to junk food. Woohoo!

Quarter Life Crisis

Ok, so I haven't been really regular on the blogging scene, but I guess you all might have got used to this phase of mine where there is absolutely no sign of life on this blog.

I have heard people going through a mid-life crisis, but I am going what I call a quarter life crisis. So all thoughts have a trigger, so this is what triggered my chain of thoughts. You see my friends had bought their guitars to college. They are guys who are really passionate about it and I have seen the struggle they have gone to play that guitar in their hands. When they were strumming the masterpiece, I could feel the soul in the music... It was just so passionate. This is exactly what plunged me into a mini-depression. I realized that I didn’t have anything which I could be crazy about. I did love dancing but couldn’t continue because of parental pressure.

I strongly believe every individual must have some means to de-stress. For my friends, it was the guitar. The strings help you to entangle your complicated life. But what about me? I have been desperately searching for an outlet to vent out all my negativity and frustration, but unfortunately reach a dead end.

So now I will try to search up a good hobby to pull me out of my depression- like state. As of now, I can't just stop getting jealous of my string-happy friends!

Festival time = License for hooliganism

I have always loved festivals. Apart from the obvious reason of a holiday, I love the preparations that go behind making any festive celebration a grand success. And this goes without mentioning that I Have always been rather active on this scene.

So it was Janmashtami on Thursday and due to unavoidable circumstances, I had to step out of my house and leave for Ghatkopar. In the train, I took necessary precautions to maintain a safe distance from the train windows, lest some moron hurl a water balloon filled with slime and dirt and what not. But nothing prepared me for the truckful of guys out on the streets. Then I realised that some people will never learn to mind their own buisness. I mean I am fine with the fact that they are all charged up because they are going to break the handi, but can't they just SHUT UP and reach the venue? Why the hell do they have to throw water and pass lewd comments on unsuspecting young woman on the streets? That was exactly the scene that occured with me. Not once, but thrice. I was just hoping one of them would fall out of the truck..... that ought to teach them a lesson.

If that was not enough, I had to listen to countless comments on the mask I was wearing to avoid swine flu. There was a row of bikes, with three baboons on each, and every single guy yelling at us from across the street. I just hoped they all would come under some truck ahead. Really now, I am not an evil person but such people bring out the worst in me.

If that was not enough, I saw these same people on television breaking the handi at Ghatkopar. And I felt nothing but disgust. Disgust at the thought that there were thousands of people to cheer such cheap guys.... disgust that all this was done in the name of Lord Krishna, who incidently saved Draupadi from similarly cheap people in that era. You know in biology I had learnt that sometimes nature skips the gentically bad traits so that it would not be passed to the future generation. What went wrong with us? Why do we have to put up with such people when we know they have no right to inhabit the earth? Any answers?

Kids no longer.......

I am a classic proof of having an idle mind but a devil’s workshop. I was fortunate (?) enough to have a month long break from college, but in my case it was more of a curse. The only good thing that happened to me during my previous vacations was that I gained a few kilos and hence when the college resumed, I did not resemble a malnourished kid. I really don’t know what went wrong in this vacation, for I have lost weight. I almost fainted when the needles tipped at 46 kilograms-that’s 7 kgs underweight. So in short, I ended up doing nothing constructive, instead scheming plots to survive my last one year in college.

I never realized when my thoughts veered towards my future. I am 21, so it is quite natural to think about the future which seems pretty bleak because till now I haven’t yet got a job offer. And I am still confused whether to opt for an MBA or go for M.Tech degree. As if this was not enough, my mind entered into really scary territory-marriage. It is only a matter of few years before I get booted out of my own house. Hehe. So my idle mind wandered a little more and I conjured up a list of things which my kids (What? Of course I am going to have kids. According to our society, you get married to have kids…) will miss out on growing up. In a broader sense it applies to our next generation. Here it goes kiddos-

1. Waking up one fine day and your mom allowing you to bunk school. No, no, no sweetheart, you can’t bunk it because your parents have spent an obscene amount on getting you educated at some neighbourhood school which incidentally is the mecca of rote learning.
2. Instead of asking for buttered paranthas, you ask for money to have transfat laden pizzas, samosas et al at your canteen.
3. Spending your vacations at your native place because you will be busy preparing for your next class. Duh.
4. Getting a scratch, bruise or gash and being proud of it. Because you will be clad in helmets, knee pads and what not while you are cycling thanks to your overprotective parents.
5. Waking up one fine noon to the sound of advertisements or announcements blaring on some over-amplified speakers passing through your street on an auto. That was some way of publicity I tell you.
6. Dancing like hell during Ganpati viserjan because you think it is too wild for your senses.
7. Climbing fences and stealing mangoes because the farm owner has installed electric fencing.
8. Enjoying roadside stuff with an iron-clad stomach while it’s pouring.
9. Being able to stumble upon your parent’s wedding album and being elated at the discovery. Because the photos nowadays are digitized and stored away at the mercy of your hard disk.
10. Solving a Rubik’s cube with insane concentration because unlike us, you have already seen how to solve it on YouTube. Damn.
11. Feeling the thrill of reading Champak and Gokulam (which you smuggled from your friend) under the covers when everyone else is sleeping. That’s because you have a monthly subscription of the same magazines.
12. Wading through ankle length waters. Instead the water will be neck deep because some moron at BMC failed to give orders to clean up the drains.
13. Hearing a cuckoo or spotting a sparrow.
14. Wolf-whistling roadside romeos. They are too busy in counseling sessions. Hmmm…. A good thing at last.
15. Having I-pods surgically attached to your ears because you can’t bear natural sounds.

Phew, that’s quite an exhaustive list I guess. But I guess the most important thing they will miss is being humane….I just hope our next generation has enough of compassion and honesty left in them because it not easy being all goody-goody in this world. Kalyug hai bhai, kalyug.

Morning Glory

I have started loving mornings. It’s true that I was always an early bird, but that was because I had to attend school at 7.30. It was more out of compulsion rather than choice. I can't even call myself an owl because I have never stayed awake except when it is something life threatening like my exams or when I am reading Harry Potter.

For a week, I decided to get up early in morning and just sit at the sliding window. No thinking, no contemplating whatsoever. Just picture this- sitting peacefully at the window with piping hot tea and all that you get to hear is……silence. I enjoyed how the wind howled and rustled away the leaves ever so gently. The leaves swirled in harmony, rising and falling in rhythm with nature’s heartbeat. It was their secret dance and I was more than thrilled to have discovered it.

I seriously thought cuckoos are an extinct species at least in cities, but here there was one cuckooing in all its glory perhaps to attract his mate. Seriously the kind of efforts the male species put into wooing……

Well you won’t believe it, but it was so quiet that I could hear the announcements at the railway station! That was the only artificial sound invading the surroundings that time. I am yet to miss the calls of aaji every Sunday morning. She sells Nashik kurmure which she carries in a large plastic gunny bag. For all these years, she has not missed a Sunday and over the period of time I have seen her wrinkles become promienent and her eyes becoming cloudy. I always used to wonder if she had kids or not because it pained me to see her carry the load on her head and hawking in the streets when she should be playing with her grandchildren. Looking at someone else's life, you realise how sorted your own life is.....

The most irritating sight and sound early morning is the Ghanta Gaadi or the garbage truck. All I can see is an overloaded truck ringing across the streets with flies and stench announcing its arrival way before you can see the truck. Not a pleasant sight at all.

But seriously all those late nighters must give this experience a shot once. If you omit the garbage van arrival part, most of the experience seemed to have a pretty calming effect on me. Never knew getting a piece of peace was this easy.

Thanks for stepping in...

Time:12.53 am
mood:sentimental
When I first stepped in college, I fiercely guarded my heart and soul,for I was afraid someone might see through it. Making new friends was both exciting and intimidating. Sitting in a corner,the world stopped when you walked towards me,with that smile of your's ,said a 'hi'. Is it so easy? You didn't realise it then,but you had walked into my life and your warmth sealed my destiny. You left footprints as you stepped in,you could've easily traced them back,but never once did you glance back. And that,my friend,has made all the difference in the world!
Dedicated to:
multiple options
alias
dee
DC

In a contemplative mood…. At 12 am

It has happened to me innumerable times, when I have woken up in the dead of the night with some long forgotten song reeling in my head, in loops. The worst part is when you can’t get it out of your head and you are humming that song all day long. Now it doesn’t matter if it’s a hit song, but it is from some obscure B grade movie, then you are met with furtive glances.

This time it wasn’t a song, it was a thought. And it was the first time I felt an urgent need to spill it out, so I penned it down before I could post an entry. I can’t say it came in my head out of the blue. On my birthday, I was in a rather pensive mood. No, my friends had called me up dutifully at 12 am to wish me, but not before reminding me that I have grown up. I had to hear ‘Now you have turned twenty years old’ with unusual emphasis on old over hundred times that day. One of my good friends, lets call him Alias (because he has two names, real names I mean because of some goof-up in his birth certificate.), ringed me up to wish me. ‘What have I done in the last twenty years?’ is not something I should be asking on my birthday, but I needed an answer. He tried to brush away my thoughts but when I persisted, there was an uncomfortable silence over the line. I tried listing out things that I thought were worth mentioning. It made me feel a little better (it’s not that tough to silence your conscience), but oblivious to me, a few kilometers away, Alias was mulling over the same question at four in the morning.

Today while I wait for electricity to be restored (load shedding at ten at night, MSEB sucks), I am again trying to find an answer to that question. Sania Mirza, Sharapova, Nadal are close to my age and look at what they have achieved. I don’t want to be famous and I certainly don’t look up to them as my idols, but it does make me think about the kind of life I am leading. Or for that case, we ALL are leading.For years we have been taught that we need to work hard to achieve success and happiness. Sure, it’s true. But landing up a good job and earning big bucks isn’t the only way you become happy. We all have been trying so hard all these years to be the perfect human being that we have failed to realize that being imperfect is part of being human.

In human evolution the most radical change was phasing out the organs from our system which are of no use to us. That’s why we have the appendix, which was used to digest raw meat, lying in a state of disuse in our body and we call it ‘vestigial organ’. But do you know what crushing pain and trauma it causes when it starts troubling us? So what do we do then? We remove that thing from our body that causes us so much of suffering.

We often become so conscious of what other people think about us, we stop short of doing things that we enjoy so much. And it is not just fear of the society that holds us back. There is this little monster of self-doubt inside us that washes away all traces of confidence and courage. It is this monster that has stopped me from involving myself in social work. ‘Will I be able to give enough time?’, ‘Will I be able to manage my studies?’, and ‘Will I be able to continue?’, these questions start creeping in my mind until I am so muddles up that I give up my urge to do something altogether. I have missed out on so much just because I have failed to push myself to do the thing that makes me happy. We all wish for happiness and success, but very few are ready to face the dark times that come with it. I don’t want to be a coward anymore. I now realize that the fear of society is just a crutch on which I used to support my willpower. My willpower was never weak, it was lying unused. I need to exercise it much often so that it doesn’t become vestigial and give me pain later. Instead I need to flush out the toxins of apprehension and self-doubt from my system and come out clean. I am aware I will be resisted, for change is a scary thing for some people, but it needs to be realized that you have got just one life and you got to lead that on your own terms. I don’t know whether this has answered my question, I don’t even know if whatever I have written is relevant. But now I have accepted my shortcomings and found a new purpose in life, to overcome them and that, my friend, has made all the difference in the world.