I Almost Fainted....

.... when I was out shopping at D-Mart yesterday. Mom had given me a list and it was very boring because I had to do it alone. Plus the store is a good fifteen minute walk from my place and with the kind of weather Mumbai is having nowadays, I almost risked a sunstroke by the time I reached the place.

The list was really small consisting of really essential stuff which the friendly neighborhood kirana guy does not stock and I was strictly instructed not to stray away from the list and shop according to my whims and fancies. Sigh! Now you know why I was not that eager to go shopping.

So I was lugging around the basket(I had deliberately not opted for the trolley since I get seized by this weird urge to fill it up to the brim) and browsing through the cosmetics section to get a face wash. I don't fit into the mold of a typical girl who researches every beauty product- my only criteria was the price and was able to decide on one in a jiffy.

There were two guys besides me who were checking out the array of creams,face washes,cleansers,toners and moisturizers(but not me :( ). But what shocked me was their very serious and informed discussion on the various products. "Oh, I have tried this, it is very mild but if your skin is dry then go for ....", "See, never use products which claim to clear off oil from your face, it will only increase oily secretions from the face....", "Hey this is a new one, lets try it out" and so on.

After a few minutes of deliberation, they zeroed in onto a product and left while I stood rooted to the spot wondering since when did guys become so conscious of their appearance. I have always liked the way in which guys get ready in a jiffy(and still look adorable). Whatever happened to the concept of 'tall,dark and handsome' or am I the only one stuck with the classic concept of a nice guy?

I returned back home carrying two bags and again got fried in the sun(What is up with the weather these days?). My brother and I have this ritual of emptying every bag that comes inside our house, search for relevant things and leave the rest on the floor for Mom to clear up later,albeit grudgingly. I asked my brother to find the face wash for me since I could not spot it in the heap. A few minutes later, he was looking at the face wash rather strangely only to ask later "I am keeping this. My skin got all bad from the sun. And the next time you go to D-Mart, let me know coz I wanted a skin cream". WTH!

The Dynamics of Being Inert

They say when you know a disaster is lurking around the corner, you are prepared for it mentally and helps you deal with it in a planned manner. Just like the way you take in a deep breath before the waves come crashing and pull you deep inside the water. I knew this was coming so can't argue that I was taken by surprise, only that I could not cope with its sheer enormity. Frustration is the name.

It has been more than three months I am at home and let me tell you the first one month was absolute heaven. Rid of exams, I was left with so much time on my hands that I didn't know what to do of it. It was a heady feeling that made me giddy with happiness. So there was a lot of catching up with friends, loitering around at malls and hogging on food(this is applicable only for me).

I believe it becomes easier to wait when you are awaiting something,a s in my case, the result. The endless wait and the anticipation was easier to cope with because you were not alone. It was like waiting for the New Year- being alone on that day is a curse,but along with a bunch of friends life seems like heaven.

The results arrived and mercifully it was good. Not just for me, but for everyone around. For the past few years, I have been unable to indulge in the celebration of my results since it was always overshadowed by the sorrow of a friend who did not fare well. I am simply unable to feel happiness if someone important in my life is upset and that, I believe is the most basic human tendency. So for a change, this time we were able to enjoy the feeling of being an engineer and to the job awaiting us.

But suddenly it hit me- what now? Sure I had the company to wait for since I have not yet received the joining. My friends got cozy in their jobs so suddenly I was deprived of company to roam around and I felt guilty asking those tired souls to come out of their houses on holidays. I try to keep myself busy with household stuff and my mother is one delighted soul. I surf the Internet for recipes and cook them up and frankly I am glad it kills time though there is this nagging feeling inside me that I could have done better things with my time.

To top it all,I was missing last dates for all the courses I wanted to enroll and I am still to understand how I managed a feat like that. Then again started a fresh new cycle of waiting which is driving me freaking crazy now. I really have to restrain myself to use expletives on my blog just to show people how frustrated I am doing nothing. Those words sometimes do help people understand the enormity or seriousness of the situation.

Yeah I know people might suggest me to enroll for XYZ course but guys, I have my own list of things I want to do like enroll for a dancing class, a foreign language course or take up oil painting classes. Only that my wishes are shot down with alarming regularity by my parents and they are deemed unnecessary which makes me all the more mad. I have forever postponed enrolling for them since I was short on time and look at the irony now. I have time- the only necessary thing for the course but no permission to do so.

I find a bit of solace on the Internet since it takes my mind off the rage boiling inside me at the utter helplessness of my situation. I tweet, chat,do a bit of social networking and I am glad that a few hours have passed peacefully.And I say a few hours because mother reprimands me if I exceed an hour as she is more concerned with the electricity bill rather than my sanity.

Two days ago, I had a breakdown of sorts where I wept on my pillow and almost suffocated myself trying to muffle my sobs. It was liberating because I was finally breaking free from my illusions and accepting the fact that my life sucks for now. I don't have to put up a farce that I am enjoying it. I used to enjoy it but when you got no one to share your time, it is a bloody torture. That night when the tears flowed uninhibited till I could taste them in my mouth, I resolved to do something of my situation. The first thing I have to let go is my passivity and I have already started on this hell of a task. I don't know about the outcome of this resolution but at least it is a start.

I got lots of things planned, one being Art of Living course that starts today and goes on till this Sunday, four hours per day. I was never enthusiastic about doing it but when I saw what a rut I am stuck in, I jumped in. Will keep you updated :)

Excavated Poetry

I had penned this poem in eighth standard for Teacher's Day celebrations but somehow I never recited it for reasons I fail to recall. I remembered about this poem when I was asked to contribute for the same event in engineering college, so I rummaged through my papers(full of scribblings in illegible handwriting) and was lucky enough to find the poem. But yet again, the poem did not see the light of the day.

There goes the history of the poem. Now go ahead and read it!

It's amazing

how we started with,

One block by me,

The other by you,

Never noticed when you turned those blocks

into steps.

Steps that led me,

Towards light and knowledge.

And that's when realisation dawned,

It's amazing

The word 'teacher',

Because you teach me,

Whenever I err.

Happy teacher's day!

P.S. If you are thinking that this does not qualify as a poem, you may be right. But try thinking from the point of view of a fourteen year old and it may not appear that bad.

Forever Burdened

I am someone who goes around with a burden on my shoulders. And my heart sometimes. I cannot step out of my house without a bag-even if it is a polythene one, I would carry it. I don't know what to do with empty hands and sometimes I fear that I am suffering from alien hand syndrome(wherein your limbs perform action contrary to your wishes. Scary, na?), so I need to keep them occupied.

I cannot fathom how people can travel without carrying essential things with them. Now this is a fairly common sight amongst guys but it amazes me when I see girls doing the same thing. I wonder how it feels to be so light.

It goes without saying that I possess lots of bags to carry my things around.Correction: I possess lots of huge bags. My college sack was roomy enough to stuff myself in and it was so complete in itself that all I had to do was pick it up and head off to my destination. Same goes for my handbag which has large number of confusing compartments but nevertheless helpful to keep me organized. Oh, and there is this light blue handbag gifted to me by my cousin brother(the only male I know to have a fantastic taste in handbags. His previous handbag was absolutely suited for me but unfortunately was ruined by Mom.) which is also of a decent size. Then there is this cross strap jean bag when I want to feel all college-ish.

I still can't stop goggling at those clutch purses women carry while travelling. Sure it's handy and small but does it hold your cellphone? No. The woman would be struggling to carry the clutch in one hand, cellphone in other and hoping that a third hand would sprout to grip the rod while climbing in the train.

What my bag holds is a mystery to my friends. They derive great pleasure in lifting my bag a few feet above and then leaving it upon gravity to do the rest while I try to maintain my balance and dignity. So I will let you have a peek at the insides of my companion along with justification as to why I carry certain items along.

1. Identity proof

I never bothered carrying one until one friend told me why it is important. With all the blasts and accidents happening around, she advised me to keep it just in case.. you know... I happen to land up in hospital, my folks won't have to go checking out every hospital. How very thoughtful.

2. College essentials

Includes ID(absolutely compulsory in college), library card(rarely used) and fee receipt.

3. Tissue paper

To clean up the rain water on seats or to lend to a weepy folk.

4. Smart Card and Coupons

The queues at station are always long but I have an added disadvantage- my luck. I am so lucky that the window at which I stand for a ticket either shuts down on my turn to buy ticket or the window closes prematurely when I am halfway through. Save time and print a ticket. Or punch a coupon. Or punch the station master for non-functioning ATVMs and CVMs.

5. Girlie stuff

Hairbrush, lip balm, clip etc. No justification whatsoever.

5. Polythene bag

I suffer from travelling sickness though the nauseating sensation is limited to ST buses and vehicles spiraling along ghats. I don't feel like spoiling the interiors of mode of transport and and make other people feel sick so the polythene bag.

6. Bottle of water

Forever thirsty being that I am, I don't take the risk of gulping water from a public tap nor am I snobbish and environment-unfriendly to buy bottled water for every trip I undertake.

7. Books

To keep me company when the journey takes too long or the co-passengers are absolutely boring. It is one of the most essential things and I get restless when I cannot feel the familiar reassuring lump inside my bag.

8. Food

For my hyperactive metabolism.

9.Umbrella

Seasonal item.Duh!

10. Miscellaneous

Gift wrappings of a memorable present, ticket of an awesome trip, a non-functioning watch which I always fail to fix up, tablets past their expiry date, dried petals of a flower that caught my fancy and so on.

So what do you carry around? I could do with some suggestions to add to my list ;)

Booked For Life

Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled "This could change your life."

- Helen Exley

My blog template is enough to indicate my love for books and reading. It is the only thing keeping me sane these days when I am cooped up at home with nothing particular to do. I take to books as a fish to water and should anyone attempt to separate me from my love, it is met with disastrous consequences.

I was none of those boisterous, screaming, mischief- mongering child and hence was any parent's dream come true. Never had I, in my living memory, thrown a tantrum over something or embarrassed my parents by indulging in naughty fun. When I look back now, I think I was more of an observer- keen to see everything but with a step back so as not to get too involved, though I can say this trait got buried as I grew up. I was content reading the newspaper and when everyone was having a siesta at noon, I used to pull out the children's magazines (Champak, Gokulam etc.) and enter my own fantasy world. One of my favorite hobbies was writing down the words I heard on television and get it corrected from father. Then those words would be consulted in the dictionary for their proper meaning and used/abused in everyday life till it was imprinted on my mind.

There have been times when I am reading a book and a particular paragraph or phrase has mirrored my very own situation. This accidental stumbling turns out to be a savior during my rough patches or when I am just feeling low. I just clutch the books and thank my lucky stars for giving me a sign resolving my predicament. I don't boast of a collection because I have relied heavily on borrowing and books off Thane or Andheri station but I do plan to start buying them once I start earning which is an era away.

Just like a mother who wouldn't discriminated between her own kids, I can't name one single book which I adore. I love my kids equally whether it is Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist or The Harry Potter series or Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki to name a few. Let's just say that everyone has given me a hand while I climbed the wall of happiness and knowledge and when I looked down, they all smile indulgently at me, ready to hold me should I ever come crashing down.

But you know why I am in love with books? Because no matter how much time has elapsed and even if you forget them, the books always greet you warmly and not scoff for ignoring them. But the best part is they are the only constants in my life- the people around me will change but the characters and teachings of the book will stand the test of time.

Trust me, I have seen enough chameleons in my life to make me conclude no human is trustworthy(though I still deviate from this principle regularly). So on those bad days when I am exasperated at how much situations and people change, there is this one assurance that somethings in life will always be the same.

Food for Thought

I have to admit it, albeit sheepishly that I am a total foodie. I may be cursed with a low appetite but that doesn't stop me from gorging on food. Now let me make it clear that there is a very fine line of difference between a foodie and a glutton and my small stomach ensures that I don't fall into the latter category.

Being a foodie doesn't imply you fine dine at high-end restaurants and leave with a hole in your pocket. For college students, it is all about finding the best masala tea and the best roadside stall for vada pav and it hasn't been any different for me. Most of my living time on this earth has been spent scouring areas for that ultimate street food and while at the same time turning a blind eye to the not-so-hygienic surroundings. Should you ever happen to mention it to the vendor, he will give you a what-so-you-expect-in-so-less-money expression. Better focus on the food and quietly gulp it.I call it strengthening-the-digestive-system exercise.

I am not that experienced to conjure up a list for foodies but my recommendations have been seconded by many. One of the reasons for my limited experience being the lack of a proper foodie companion. I don't want to end up with someone who wrinkles up his/ her nose looking at the surroundings or cheekily asks the pani-puri vendor if they use mineral water.

So here is my little list of places, in no particular order, which have been a part of my foodie adventure -

1. Vada pav near Terna Engineering College bang opposite Nerul(W) Railway station. The female owner whom we call Aunty,diligently served us with the Indian burger and we stuck to her with unwavering loyalty. A vada pav cost us three bucks in those golden days but now it has been hiked to a reasonable five. If you are lucky, you might get to lay your hands on bhajis.

2. Frankies at the sole bakery(I fail to recall the name) inside Nerul(E) station complex. It was love at first sight with franky for me. Right from vegeterian delights like manchurian franky(highly recommended), noodle franky, paneer franky to various chicken frankies for the non-veggies. And the best part? Not exorbitantly priced, prices start from Rs. 25.

3. This place is right next to the bakery mentioned above and serves the meanest South Indian fare. But the bread masala pakoda is something to die for because they add tomatoes, a rarity.

4. Pani-puri at Bikaner outlets is sumptuous especially since they skip the fattening ragda and opt for moong and boondi. A good consolation for the calorie-conscious people who binge on this treat.

5. Everything at Shri Krishna hotel inside the Vashi station complex is delicious. You can't miss this place if you step out through the main exit from the station. Don't forget to try the masala dosa and jumbo vada pav.

6. I am yet to taste pav bhaji more finger-licking than the one's at Waghe's outlet at Old Panvel. Let you be guided by the aroma of samosas and vada pavs and the buttery pav bhaji to this hole-in-the-wall shop. Should your sensory organs fail you, ask anyone around and they would guide you but not before giving a do-you-live-in-Mars kind of expression.

7. Cocktail juice outside Kurla station and as a side note let me know it is not alcoholic else the whole station area would be full of staggering drunkards. A combination of various fruit juices and flavoured ice-creams in a large glass tumbler makes for a pretty sight. When you have recovered from the cold headache thanks to the really cold contents, stand back(can't say sit back because you are lucky to get a foothold in the area near the stall) and relish the blast of various flavors. Don't even bother counting them- I lost count at five.

8. Biryani and all non-vegetarian fare at Tirupati Prasad opposite Nerul(E) Railway station(again :|) at absolutely affordable prices makes it my favourite spot when I am low on money(which is quite frequently). Don't miss out the chicken lollipops and chicken chilly .

9. I have taken a fancy for Mongnis outlets nowadays and waste no time taking home various pastries which make you go ooooooohhhhhh.... with the sheer amount of cream oozing out. Conizza(pizza in a cone) is a unique delicacy which you shouldn't miss.

10. Auberge(hope I spelt it right) on the Panvel-Matheran Road opposite New Panvel Petrol pump, though it has been a long time I visited it. Anything you pick up is lip-smacking and easy on the wallet. The last time I landed there, I enjoyed a medium sized pizza for thirty five buck flat. My friends recommend the non-vegetarian food there and I am waiting for an opportunity to attack the food there with a vengeance :D

I would love to add places to this list so put in your recommendations. Only two conditions apply- good food and fair pricing. Happy gorging till then!

Energy and more

Oh well, I have been hatching eggs at home since the past three months and while many would happily trade places, the point I am trying to make is I can't manage to stay still for a few minutes. So you can imagine how restless I have become over the past few months.


But what I find weird is that my feet are behaving as if they commute for hours and are really tired. One look at them and you will know something is wrong. I feel as if my entire (mental) exhaustion gets concentrated there and no one has been able to give me any satisfactory explanation for the same. Some help would be appreciated readers.


All this while, I have been doing a lot of reading to the point that my eyes are shooting off signals to slow down a bit while my mind gobbles books and later ruminates over the day to relish every word,every phrase and quote.


I have been following and while the blogger updates with less frequency, I couldn't be more fascinated with the entire concept of energy management. We all have our favorite spot in the room and most of the times we can't pinpoint a single reason for it. I believe it has got to do more with the fact that you are tuned to that place and hence likely to assimilate the energy. Observe a child for that instance. He seems to follow a particular path to a specific place in your home and that will help you draw up a picture of how energy flows. The kid is likely to avoid cluttered spots since it emanates negativity.

'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne(go drown yourself if you haven't heard of the book)concludes that the events in our life are the consequence of our thinking, whose power remains largely unacknowledged and untapped. To explain the book in a gist, it says that you can invite favorable events in life by occupying the mind with a steady stream of positivity. For example, make space in the house for a new person if you wish to have a life partner. Get clothes of the size you wish to fit in instead of cribbing over the ever-expanding waistline. Constantly imagine the offer letter in your mail and make up a list of things you want to purchase with your salary, if you are pining for a job. It is not without reason that cute pictures of cuter babies adore the home of an expecting woman.


Have you read Richard Bach's 'The Bridge across Forever'? I found it an average book but there is one section wherein the protagonist is trying to imagine himself taking flight(guy's a pro flyer) but somehow the vision is blurry. The reason, as it is later on revealed, is because he was not supposed to be taking flight. He gets a call from his friend/future lover and chucks going to airport. So what I do is, every time I am in a quandary over some action, I envision myself involved in that activity and if the picture is too grainy, I ditch the plan. Mind you, you don't want to spend every living moment like this to come to a conclusion. You got to decide without involving visions for petty things like if you should buy that oh-so-sexy dress. Leave the vision thing for the stickier phases of life.


So you get the basic idea? Now here is the truth. It is NOT EASY. To envisage a rosy future when your present is in dumps is taxing on the soul. When you feel wretched, all we can think of is curl up in a ball, draw the blinds and weep. I had a hard time to get into grips with a personal crisis and believe me, my imagination ground to a halt. But I was determined to bring the sunshine back into my life. Everyday before sleeping, I imagined clouds labelled 'grief', 'desolation' and other sad words moving out of my scope of vision and focussed on the beaming sun(complete with the smiley face we used to draw in our kiddie days).


So now you all know I had a happy ending only I wouldn't completely agree. The grief-causing agent didn't exactly vanish from my life, only I faced the situation with a resilience and a bulldog spirit to piece myself together.I now realize that tough times don't just evaporate, it is you who becomes valiant to face it.

Do you have stories to share about your brush with the mystical power of thoughts? Do share them with me, would love to hear them since I would like to relate to experiences apart from my own. Keep smiling :)