Wrapping It Up

The past is a funny thing. When I look back at all the not-so-happening episodes of my life, I itch to reverse time and do things differently. When I look back at all the moments oozing of happiness, I feel heavy with emotions since I never know if I would ever feel the same again.


This year I have decided to look at the past as a distant observer; this enables me to stay a step back but yet indulge in the flow of flashbacks, albeit with fewer emotions. It is improper of us to judge what is good and what is not with respect to the past since it has already rushed past us with little regard for our opinions now.


This list of the important events(in no particular order) in the year 2010 is my way of assuring myself that all things-good or bad have to come to a definite conclusion. If things are not ending the way you want to, well, there is always another year to fix it up!

1. Loving my cousins' kids. Three children are quite a handful but they never ceased to amaze me with their ability to make things appear so simple. It only made me love kids even more.

2. Climbing over a high divider to cross over to the other side of a bumper-to-bumper traffic afflicted highway.

3. Studying real hard with absolutely no expectations and being delighted when things turned out to be good.

4. Reading a dozen books even during exams. Earlier reading was a hobby; now it is my escape route from reality.

5. Dancing like hell with college friends till I was all huffy-puffy with the dust storms I kicked up on the college ground.

6. Indulging the foodie in me and gaining 8 k.g.s without an ounce of regret.

7. Dressing up in a sari. I never thought I would say this, but I am in love with this outfit. It makes me feel so... womanly. The baggy tee girl has finally grown up, I guess.

8. Weeping on college farewell party. Not because I was high on emotions but because the guys were wailing!

9. Cutting off certain people from my life. They were sucking out my spirits and happiness like Dementers rendering me glum and listless. The sun now seems brighter and the world a much better place to live in.

10. Clearing the University papers with kick-ass marks and clinching a job. I have never felt so proud of myself.

11. Admitting to the mistakes I have done only made me a stronger individual of steely grit.

12. Starting to read Bhagvad Gita made me more conscious of my actions.

13. Realizing that self-assurance is that invisible shield which will protect me from harsh people and their opinions.

14. Getting to know the difference between optimism and delusion.

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”

No matter how terrible and horrendous 2010 was, you can never stop imagining and hoping good thing for the future. I am no different... So here's to a new year ushering in cheer and triumph over evil. Happy New Life to all!

Aakhir Queue?

The queue is a good indicator of how civilised a society is since it denotes to what degree the public shows conformity to discipline. The purpose of a queue is to ensure fair treatment by following a simple principle of first in, first out although certain section of people have an inverted conception of the same.


In India, the queue is a non-existent identity. People have much difficulty maintaining a queue which is created for their own good. In school, we were whip-lashed with the string of whistle by our sports teacher since we never managed a straight line and kept swapping places to be closer to our friends and chatting in huddles.


Whether it is a temple,railway station or doctor's clinic, there will be one eminent personality who dares to jump the line and all hell breaks loose. There will be a bunch of monkeys ready to repeat the action. It is amazing how we are ready to imitate the bad examples before us but never the good ones. We will easily pick up the smoking and foul language but never make an effort to replicate the sense of social responsibility of Mohan Bhargav in Swades.


It is precisely the reason why I have frequent bursts of anger mostly at the railway station. There would be someone who will approach me with a puppy face and a sad story explaining about them being in a tearing hurry owing to some emergency . Being the idiot that I am, I end up helping them and more often than not, I see the same person cooing with his/ her lover at some mall.


It seems that I have built a reputation as the messiah of late-runners as I have been approached numerous times while in queue to buy them a ticket. With every bit of effort contorting a reprimanding face, I have gathered enough courage to refuse them and ask them to join the queue.


Let me tell you, this line jumping runs across all classes. A laptop carrying and poker-straight-hair swishing corporate will have no qualms about using her charms to break the line while dissolving all opposition with mere fluttering of eyelashes. A good looking guy will smile his dazzling 32s and get his work done while some female is busy crooning over him. The railways have introduced smart cards and coupons so that people don't have to stand in a queue when they are in a tearing hurry. But these misers would not shell out some extra bucks for the convenience.


While all this drama is going on, most people like me are left feeling like fools while the real fools will go around boasting of their talent to jump the queue. My message to them- Grow up you uncivilised dork! Being able to cheat is no real talent and when you go around loud-mouthing about your exploits, you are only portraying yourself as an uncivilized creature. You wouldn't dare repeating the stunt in some developed country, would you, you two-faced coward?

Disappointment

Today is not the day. Just not the day I was hoping for.... Another cycle of futile waiting and hoping against hope for something to land in my inbox. I need to constantly remind myself that patience is my biggest virtue and now it is put to test. I have to continue being strong. Tomorrow will be the day hopefully....

There Are Times....

.... when I just want time to move ahead fast enough so all I can see is an imperceptible blur. I just wish to be in the time few months from now and shake off my present memories as a bad dream.

Endless period of waiting does you no good.Whenever I make up my mind and prepare my mind for the worst, a sign appears on the horizon and as I rush forward to grab it but all that I am left with are unanswered questions and unspoken agony.

Hopefully, tomorrow would be an end to my misery. I refuse to give up my optimism even though it has lost touch with reality. I hope to merge them soon. Tomorrow would be the day hopefully......

Someone Up There Has Got a Bad Sense of Humour

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
-Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist

When you don't get something, all the universe conspires in mocking you.
-Shwetha

It is easy to dismiss this as mere coincidence but with the number of times I have run into information eyeing you with a mix of mock disdain and pity, you can't turn a blind eye. Everything I hear and see seems to be about travelling.


I love travelling and the love stems from my curiosity for new cultures rather than new places. So while for some, travelling implies checking out a new area or a new mall, for me, the definition is to set off exploring a place culturally different from the ones I have visited before.


First, the television kept broadcasting shows in which the skinny host waxed eloquent about the destination. I diligently avoided the travel channels but to my misfortune,even the news channels were party to my ragging with the prime airtime dedicated to plump and pimply television stars visiting shrines with picturesque scenery adoring the background.


Being an avid reader(bookworm sounds geeky so won't be using the term for myself), three newspapers drop heavily inside my home to be received eagerly by a restless me. But nowadays, I dread to open the pages because they are flooded with snaps of postcard-perfect locations. As if that was not enough, some newspapers run weekly pull-outs dedicated exclusively to travel. Not amusing. Not amusing at all.


I have now started receiving SMS ads like "Trip to Srinagar for just Rs. 29,999!!" and "Visit the hottest destination this season- Andaman and Nicobar islands. Contact blah". How the hell did they know about my dream destinations? And they got the cheek to message and lure me with dreamy holiday SMSes. Grrrrr.


If that was not enough,strangers swoop down on me and vomit details of some overseas trip they undertook recently while I squirm uncomfortably, wishing for a moment, that I was deaf. And blind too, when I see them post pretty snaps on Facebook.


So what is the problem, you ask? Company, I say. Correction- good company. While I wait for my joining date, the people whom I consider good company have started working with a gruelling nine-to-five schedule. I am pretty sympathetic to their condition and don't have enough heart to deprive them of weekends reserved for catching up on much needed slumber.


Solo trips are a fancy idea, but they are just that- fancy, not practical. I can't expect my parents to fish out a generous sum to sponsor some crazy solo trip of their graduated-but-not-yet-started-working daughter. As parents, I do not expect them to throw caution to the winds and bid me adieu at the railway station while their daughter goes out alone. Though I believe the situation might have been different if I was of opposite gender. Sigh.


I can still cope with the feeling of being static and passive and somehow, grudgingly, accept the fact that I may not get a chance to go on a full-blown touristy kind holiday. But I simply cannot bear the prospect of facing these ads,articles and other stuff related to travelling. Please, spare me the hurt :(

Celebrations

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 16; the sixteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Ira was the quintessential trophy wife married to a wealthy person who unfailingly, each day, reminded Ira that if it wasn't for him, she would be languishing in the lower middle class community. Two months into the marriage,Ira had her brush with domestic abuse- she was kicked mercilessly and roughed up for opposing to his 'business meetings' with a certain struggling actress. She had to use make up as a crutch to cover up the bruises and scratches while the dark glasses hid her sore eyes. She continued with this ritual till she landed her in hospital with a broken rib and a host of injuries.

The divorce had been swift and Ira only demanded freedom as alimony.The hissing pressure cooker startled Ira back to reality and she cursed herself for wasting away a considerable chunk of her time in front of the mirror. She ran a hand over her face appreciating the uniform colour except for a few dark spots. She applied a dab of lip gloss and tied her hair up and looked approvingly at her image. She hated make up but had to grudgingly accept it as her saviour during those times.A few years ago, she had dumped the entire make up kit into the trash bin along with the two dark glasses- grim reminders of her abusive past. Dumping them felt like sweet victory and she felt thrilled to see the bruises fade each passing day, the aches disappearing enabling her to move without grimacing.

She entered the kitchen and the air flooded with the aroma of biryani on opening the cooker. Ira scooped out a large portion and enjoyed the treat in thoughtful silence sitting at the balcony offering a panoramic view of the city. This day, three years ago, she was holding onto her marriage, trying to salvage it from certain failure. Three years on, she was thankful to her will power which helped her leave behind her life of abuses, sleepless nights and weepy days. Today was her own personal celebration..... of life.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Kid At The Mall

There are times when situations provide you with the answers for the questions whirling in your head. You open a book and you discover a line relevant to your life, Or there are times when a particular incident rescues from a dark labyrinth, holding your sweaty hand and reassuringly guiding towards light. I earnestly try to keep my senses receptive for such events or people who might help me get distracted, even if temporarily, from a depressing situation.

Considering that I burnt my fingers badly trusting the wrong kind of people, I spent(regretfully) a large portion of my life lamenting my inability to judge people correctly. I am still working on it but for the time being I have surrounded myself with lovely friends who regularly knock some sense in case I fall back in the previous pattern.

It was one of those bad days where even the weather was in complete harmony with my sulky, many, depressed self. I was waiting at a mall to catch up with a friend, a last-ditch attempt to elevate my sunken spirits. Being the overtly punctual person, I landed up earlier than planned and had nothing specific to do since window-shopping was a big no-no for me. I did want to get more down and out by pressing my oily nose against glass windows and yearn for the things which I cannot buy.

So I just roamed around the ground floor till the store attendants became wary of me taking rounds in the mall.Sadly, the benches were occupied and had to stand, eyes glued to the entrance for a spotting my friend. I noticed this slightly plump, hence cute kid helping himself to a generous scoop of ice cream. His parents were no where to be seen but it was the least of concerns for him as he relished the treat, licking off the ice cream dripping on his T-shirt.

It is this wonderful quality of kids to make you smile with their seemingly innocent acts and I felt better. As if by cue, he looked at me and smiled back as I saw him shift a bit using his weight to full advantage to shove the neighbour. And then he patted the space next to me, indicating for me to have a seat.

Dear cute kiddo, where ever you are, you got no idea how powerful your gesture was- injecting me with giddy happiness. I can't thank you enough for helping me not lose faith in love, kindness and humanity. Love you :)

Sunshine... Continued and Concluded

"My name is Aarav and I am....." was all she heard before scampering off to the wash room, emerging only after the assembly bell rang. Ashima spent the rest of the day trying to maintain a straight face but she could not ignore the warmth within which steadily grew every passing second. She wanted to hide it and hold it forever- this feeling so alien, she did not have a word for it. It wrapped Ashima in a cocoon which deflected her mother's curses and her neighbour's deliberate scream on sighting her.

The next day, a health camp was organized in the school which was an annual affair and an embarrassing time for most people. The kids emerged red faced minutes after stepping inside the makeshift tent, thanks to the full body check up they were subjected to. The people conducting it were bored and disgruntled government doctors and Ashima was forever annoyed by their initial expression of horror ultimately melting into pity when she stepped in.

This time, for a change, the doctor was a cheery, middle aged doctor who examined Ashima minus the unwanted expressions- like a professional. Her forehead creased as if she was mentally calculating something, fished out her mobile and stepped out of the tent. She came back, bringing in a breeze of fresh air and looked much more animated. Dr. Sarika looked into Ashima's eyes and in a motherly voice asked, "Would you like to be more beautiful?"

Ashima looked out of the window in a contemplative manner, the steaming cup of tea misting the glass. She opened the small piece of paper, worn at the folds and read it for the thousandth time, the smile never abandoning her face.

To the girl with tight braids who never knew how lovely she was; who, ten years ago, never believed the doctor that her cleft lip could be fixed and who was kind-hearted and forgiving enough to love and marry the doctor's good-for-nothing son. Shimu, cleft-lipped or not, you are my very own personal sun and every morning I look forward to wake up basking in your sunny love and care.

Happy one year of togetherness- happy anniversary Shimu.

~ Your went-out for-jogging-but-would-be-back-soon husband,

Aarav

Sunshine

The mirror caught the early morning sun and briefly illuminated the room before she occupied the reflection. She hated this part wherein her mother would, with undue force, braid her hair; dust powder over her face so that for a few seconds, she was engulfed in a sweet smelling halo and then finally pack her off to school. She dreaded going there, but the fear was tolerable compared to the sinking feeling she encountered on facing the mirror.

Ashima, now 14, was forever subject to much ridicule due to her cleft lip which took off the attention from her honey-coloured eyes and sculpted nose. When Ashima was born, her mother had refused to touch or feed her initially, forever screaming that she had given birth to a monster. The doctor had tried to make her see sense but he was helpless against the walls of ignorance and fear enveloping the entire village. All this while, her father never looked up from the newspaper.

Ashima scanned the corridors and treaded cautiously to avoid running into anyone. She arrived nowadays an hour prior to the school hours to avoid the snide comments, pointed fingers and mass bullying her classmates had taken a fancy to. A few weeks ago, a bright eyed boy had come running towards her,pulled off the band holding her pony and ran off to the next class. He was peering at her from the door while a crowd gathered around to bully Ashima.

Hence the braided hair and early arrival at school; her new routine suited her fine. She almost stumbled when she saw the boy near the door of classroom with an unreadable expression on his face. Ashima felt the tears burn the back of her throat as she fought the urge to run away on seeing him walk in her direction. He handed her back a band, new and wrapped nicely in plastic while Ashima stood rooted, puzzled. She was about to stop him when he faced her with a solemn look.

"I am sorry but I never planned to do anything to hurt you. I never thought the whole class would swarm and chide you.My mother said it was very bad of me to do so and gave me money to buy you a new band.Did you like it?"

Silence.

"Don't think I am giving an excuse for my behaviour but......I think you look pretty with your hair loose."

Pet Peeves

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray attempts to demarcate problem areas for men and women by pointing out essential differences and I must say he has done a good job. The book uses waves as a metaphor for women, with crests representing the phases wherein the XX species are in cheerful disposition and troughs representing the sulky aura we put up sometimes. No prizes for guessing which phase I am in.

I have been religiously ranting on the blog since it is therapeutic and much better than conjuring up violent plans to eliminate the source of irritation who most often that not is a person than an incident. So in keeping up with the spirit of sulkiness and my dark mood, I present to you this list who continue to grate my nerves and instigate violent reaction from me.

1. Loud people

I have never understood why there is a need to yell and get all agitated to drive home a point. Most of the time it turns out to be useless babble and the times it is something worth listening, your ear drums have suffered permanent damage.

2. Spit-happy people

When I see them color the town red, I have this permanent desire to repeat the action at their house.

3. The roadblocks

These are the people who will constantly stand in your way and commendably perform the job of a detractor.Constantly throwing up oppositions to your ideas and indulging in fault-finding, these people never go far in life and they wish the same for everyone around. Steer clear, I say.

4. Honking cars

Dude, you know there is a traffic jam ahead, your honking won't magically make it disappear, right?

5. Plain impractical people

They will suggest the most impractical plans but will not take up responsibility for it. If they have such great plans, maybe they could start with showing a bit of conviction na?

6. Water- babies

These people will behave like fishes who might just die if they are separated from water. With unfailing regularity, they will water their cars or flood the lawns without giving a damn to the wastage. I have seen nut cases around who will not relax their regime even during a water crisis while the upper floor residents wait for water to be pumped up to their tanks. Selfish, idiotic and narcissists are the keywords for them.

7. Fevicol varieties

These people are unfortunately under the illusion that the world is going to actually end in 2012 and as a result, are always in a hurry to know more about you, never mind the fact that you have been introduced only a moment ago. I am a very guarded person who loves her privacy while taking my own sweet time to open up. But if someone is under the impression that I will pop open audibly as a soda bottle, then it becomes necessary to make yourself clear.

8. I-am-so-great types

No description needed since everyone detests them. Except may be the cronies they are surrounded with.

I could go on and on, but it only shoots up my BP even thinking about such people *breathe in* *breathe out*. I have had enough of them and if you have in some way irritated me, you can be rest assured you have made it to the list.

F(l)abulous Me

I am on a stay-cation which means that I am foolish enough to stay at home even when I have the time to travel to interesting locations when the world around me is cribbing for a twenty four hour holiday from studies and work. Talk about irony of life.

A solo trip sounds so enticing, especially when I read about experiences o female travelers and I want to believe their verdict that it is relatively safe considering you don't act like a dunce and invite trouble. But the permission part from home and my own doubts about being on my own remains debatable.

Three months of warming the sofa and constant presence of food in the food cavity has resulted in a fatter me, though the effect is mostly visible on the cheeks. I am thankful for that since it makes my buck tooth less visible and not to forget it is good respite from being gaunt faced for so long. Also, it is a good cushion against illness since previously, I was at risk of disappearing owing to pounds I shed during the illness. Not any more!

I am loving this people of having people come up to me and saying that I have gained weight. This may surprise some but if you have spent all your life listening to people inquiring if I am sick on noticing my stick-thin figure, this is a welcome change. I recall one of those regular cat-fights on the train wherein the crowd was supporting me since an ungratefully moronic woman refused to let me space for fourth seat. Someone argued that I was size zero who took up minimum space and they sort of bullied her to adjust though that size zero thing stung me.

I am enjoying this experience of being plus sized since I know it is a short one. The reason being I have this amazing fat-burning power which kick starts once I start on some active work. For now, I am not at all missing the feeling of sitting uncomfortably on bony bums :)

Shopping :D

If someone were to describe the XX chromosome species, the usual suspected adjectives pop up- extra emotional, chatterbox and giggly and hence it is not without reason that I strongly object to stereotyping of girls/women especially when the description is so unflattering.

Being born in a khandaan where majority of my cousins turned out to be boys, it was initially tough to keep up with them. Over the years, they religiously wiped out every feminine trait that irritated them and molded me according to their

convenience. As a result, I find it really hard to comprehend why a group of girls have to burst out in giggling fits every few seconds. Or why they have to apply nail paint going with the outfit. Duh!

But shopping is something that I absolutely love and for a change I am ready to get stereotyped since I am absolutely hooked. Of course, the fact that I am not earning is the only factor that has managed to put a hold on my expenditure so I make do with window shopping :D

So anyways, I was seized with this strong desire to shop so I took my Mum as partner-in-crime and managed to extract a generous sum from Dad. We landed at Dombivli and my jaw dropped at the reasonable prices of everything on the lane full of shops. The prices were so competitive and reasonable, I didn't even feel the need to bargain and on the rare occasion I asked for a discount, I did so guiltily.

I am in love with sarees nowadays so let me Mum buy as many as possible while I settled for two dress materials(four hundred each!) . There is an oh-so-elegant air around the person who wears a saree and will surely draw enough admiration if paired with appropriate accessories. I seriously fail to understand why the younger lot of my generation looks down upon this six yard wonder because honestly I believe it complements the Indian woman. I do agree that the comfprt level provided is a debatable issue, but surely we can skip comfort for a while to look pretty.

This saree below was the clear winner and I have already set my evil eyes upon it, waiting for some chance to wear it-even if the occasion turns out to be not-so-important. Will be too happy to keep you updated with my saree obsession so stay tuned :)

Not-so-good Girl

This one post was found lying in the drafts section, hoping to draw my attention some day when I would shake off my laziness and care enough to edit it. So here goes-

There goes my good girl image! I caught up with a childhood friend at a station and heeding to our rumbling stomachs, we decided to grab a bite at the food court in the complex. You don't expect to have something exotic while still studying so we settled for the humble vada pav and opted for a cold drink at the fountain soda stand.

I was curious about trying out soda (with a generous sprinkling of spices) but was wary about it since soda is mostly used to cure bad tummy and I wasn't sure if anything with medicinal qualities would taste good. Curiosity soon got the better of me and we dashed off to the platform to catch the train which had just pulled in.

Since we were no athletes and the granite steps appeared treacherous enough(Who the hell though of granite at stations? As if we don't witness enough accidents in our life.), we let the train pass and waited for the next one.

Now, this man seated next to us was quite curious about the contents of the plastic cups we were holding. Sensing an opportunity for mischief, my friend started talking in a slurred manner and I almost sniffed at the cup to verify its contents but thankfully it clicked me what she was up to.

We convinced the guy about being high on vodka(my idea since I could think of just one drink which resembled soda) and watched his eyes bulge with horror at our antics. I did spoil it with a bit of overacting but my friend was a natural pulling off the drunken eyes effect quite convincingly. The train pulled in and we saw the guy still staring at us after the train started moving again while we were too busy laughing to board the train. One request- Please don't judge me over this, I haven't touched a drop of alcohol and don't intent to because of my not-so-healthy liver.But as they say, I guess everyone is entitled to have a bit of fun :D

Art of Living- Day 3

I must say I softened up a bit after the previous day's surprise birthday celebration and I saw the initial signs of enthusiasm which prodded me to attend the last day of the workshop. Thanks to my neighbor, I arrived late at the venue and one certain volunteer was rubbing her hands in glee at the fine amount to be imposed on us. Turns out, I had five more people for company and everyone argued voraciously. Apparently, she

was just kidding and we went in to see a game in progress resembling 'Fire in the mountain' childhood game.

I forgot to add yesterday that some newspaper would be covering the event and everyone turned out in their best outfits.Including me. After the usual round of breathing exercises, we settled down to hear a few more teachings.

Now comes the really funny part. We were placed in front of a participant (of same gender!!!!!!!) and asked to look into their eyes while some song played in the background. Trust me it was really embarrassing and to make matters worse, we had to repeat the exercise with two more people. The whole exercise could be described in a single word- AWKWARD. I sighed audibly when it came to an end but groans followed soon when we were asked to close our eyes. And dance.

Now, I do dance with gay abandon when no one is at home and I don't care how terrible my steps are, for the simple reason that no one is watching. How do they expect me to dance freely when I am being watched by the volunteers? Trust me, it was not a good experience for me since I was waiting for the song to get over.

The workshop ended on a good note with the last activity wherein we were handed out paper plates. Now everyone was supposed to compliment each other on the basis of our interaction in the past few days. Trust me, there is nothing more liberating than letting go of all our preconceived negative impressions and prejudices about a person and giving their positive aspects more weight in your thoughts. There was this really nice energy coursing through me as I penned down a word of praise for each one of them. It felt.......awesome!

So go ahead and repeat this exercise with your friends and believe me, the greatest benefactor will you. Go fish out those paper plates and let me know about your experience :)

Art of Living- Day 2

So after the disappointment of the first day, I was in no mood to attends the next day's session. To crumble my already weak willpower, my neighbor who had enrolled with me for the course simply refused to attend any more. Seems he have had enough of it since he was enrolled against his wishes for the course plus the first day was too much for him to take. But being the paisa vasool karo attitude girl that I am, I decided to complete it and attend the remaining days too. Surprisingly, he went a change of heart by evening and agreed to give me company.

The second day began with the breathing exercises but I was pleased with myself since my threshold for pain had increase and could carry on with the exercises with minimal pain. Something to cheer about definitely :)

The rest of the session was nothing out of the ordinary and we learnt a few more sutras which were practical enough. It is strange knowing that what we were advised to implement in real life sounded so obvious but it is the case of easier said than done.

Now as we moved towards the end of second day's session, we were asked to close our eyes(what is up with this closing eyes part. It is done with such regularity that now it seems more of a chore) and were told that it is someone's special day. Obviously Gandhiji, I thought since it was October 2. I was pleasantly surprised to see a drool-inducing cake in front of us and was more surprised to hear we we had a birthday boy in our midst. This one sweet gesture by the organizers was enough to lighten up my uninterested state of mind and I had a deliriously happy time.

All is well that ends well I say! :)

Art of Living- Day 1

As promised earlier, I am writing about my experience about the Art of Living course which was designed specially for the youth called YES+. I had heard quite a few rave reviews about it and considering the utter disarray my mind was in, I gave it a shot.

The instructor was a young female and was surprised to see a normal crowd because I was half expecting overtly spiritual people with serene looks on their faces. The first exercise was introducing yourself to the participants. Now here is the catch- You hold hands with that person and say, "My name is ABC and I belong to you", and this is where my enthusiasm took a south-bound plunge. It sounded so absolutely fake and when they asked about the experience, I heard all the more fake answers like "good", "great", "refreshing" etcetera.

We were imparted a few words of wisdom called sutras which was appealing enough for me. They were very basic and no-nonsense types but still we never think of implementing them. It was followed by a round of breathing exercises and Sudarshan Kriya-the star attraction of the course.

They got an interesting way to underline the meaning of the sutra because we played a game first and then they explained what they were trying to stress through the games. My ankles hurt pretty bad sitting in vajrasan for almost thirty minutes or so and feet were all numb from sitting cross-legged. Sore with pain, we left after 9.30 and headed home. I was more sore with disappointment.

I Almost Fainted....

.... when I was out shopping at D-Mart yesterday. Mom had given me a list and it was very boring because I had to do it alone. Plus the store is a good fifteen minute walk from my place and with the kind of weather Mumbai is having nowadays, I almost risked a sunstroke by the time I reached the place.

The list was really small consisting of really essential stuff which the friendly neighborhood kirana guy does not stock and I was strictly instructed not to stray away from the list and shop according to my whims and fancies. Sigh! Now you know why I was not that eager to go shopping.

So I was lugging around the basket(I had deliberately not opted for the trolley since I get seized by this weird urge to fill it up to the brim) and browsing through the cosmetics section to get a face wash. I don't fit into the mold of a typical girl who researches every beauty product- my only criteria was the price and was able to decide on one in a jiffy.

There were two guys besides me who were checking out the array of creams,face washes,cleansers,toners and moisturizers(but not me :( ). But what shocked me was their very serious and informed discussion on the various products. "Oh, I have tried this, it is very mild but if your skin is dry then go for ....", "See, never use products which claim to clear off oil from your face, it will only increase oily secretions from the face....", "Hey this is a new one, lets try it out" and so on.

After a few minutes of deliberation, they zeroed in onto a product and left while I stood rooted to the spot wondering since when did guys become so conscious of their appearance. I have always liked the way in which guys get ready in a jiffy(and still look adorable). Whatever happened to the concept of 'tall,dark and handsome' or am I the only one stuck with the classic concept of a nice guy?

I returned back home carrying two bags and again got fried in the sun(What is up with the weather these days?). My brother and I have this ritual of emptying every bag that comes inside our house, search for relevant things and leave the rest on the floor for Mom to clear up later,albeit grudgingly. I asked my brother to find the face wash for me since I could not spot it in the heap. A few minutes later, he was looking at the face wash rather strangely only to ask later "I am keeping this. My skin got all bad from the sun. And the next time you go to D-Mart, let me know coz I wanted a skin cream". WTH!

The Dynamics of Being Inert

They say when you know a disaster is lurking around the corner, you are prepared for it mentally and helps you deal with it in a planned manner. Just like the way you take in a deep breath before the waves come crashing and pull you deep inside the water. I knew this was coming so can't argue that I was taken by surprise, only that I could not cope with its sheer enormity. Frustration is the name.

It has been more than three months I am at home and let me tell you the first one month was absolute heaven. Rid of exams, I was left with so much time on my hands that I didn't know what to do of it. It was a heady feeling that made me giddy with happiness. So there was a lot of catching up with friends, loitering around at malls and hogging on food(this is applicable only for me).

I believe it becomes easier to wait when you are awaiting something,a s in my case, the result. The endless wait and the anticipation was easier to cope with because you were not alone. It was like waiting for the New Year- being alone on that day is a curse,but along with a bunch of friends life seems like heaven.

The results arrived and mercifully it was good. Not just for me, but for everyone around. For the past few years, I have been unable to indulge in the celebration of my results since it was always overshadowed by the sorrow of a friend who did not fare well. I am simply unable to feel happiness if someone important in my life is upset and that, I believe is the most basic human tendency. So for a change, this time we were able to enjoy the feeling of being an engineer and to the job awaiting us.

But suddenly it hit me- what now? Sure I had the company to wait for since I have not yet received the joining. My friends got cozy in their jobs so suddenly I was deprived of company to roam around and I felt guilty asking those tired souls to come out of their houses on holidays. I try to keep myself busy with household stuff and my mother is one delighted soul. I surf the Internet for recipes and cook them up and frankly I am glad it kills time though there is this nagging feeling inside me that I could have done better things with my time.

To top it all,I was missing last dates for all the courses I wanted to enroll and I am still to understand how I managed a feat like that. Then again started a fresh new cycle of waiting which is driving me freaking crazy now. I really have to restrain myself to use expletives on my blog just to show people how frustrated I am doing nothing. Those words sometimes do help people understand the enormity or seriousness of the situation.

Yeah I know people might suggest me to enroll for XYZ course but guys, I have my own list of things I want to do like enroll for a dancing class, a foreign language course or take up oil painting classes. Only that my wishes are shot down with alarming regularity by my parents and they are deemed unnecessary which makes me all the more mad. I have forever postponed enrolling for them since I was short on time and look at the irony now. I have time- the only necessary thing for the course but no permission to do so.

I find a bit of solace on the Internet since it takes my mind off the rage boiling inside me at the utter helplessness of my situation. I tweet, chat,do a bit of social networking and I am glad that a few hours have passed peacefully.And I say a few hours because mother reprimands me if I exceed an hour as she is more concerned with the electricity bill rather than my sanity.

Two days ago, I had a breakdown of sorts where I wept on my pillow and almost suffocated myself trying to muffle my sobs. It was liberating because I was finally breaking free from my illusions and accepting the fact that my life sucks for now. I don't have to put up a farce that I am enjoying it. I used to enjoy it but when you got no one to share your time, it is a bloody torture. That night when the tears flowed uninhibited till I could taste them in my mouth, I resolved to do something of my situation. The first thing I have to let go is my passivity and I have already started on this hell of a task. I don't know about the outcome of this resolution but at least it is a start.

I got lots of things planned, one being Art of Living course that starts today and goes on till this Sunday, four hours per day. I was never enthusiastic about doing it but when I saw what a rut I am stuck in, I jumped in. Will keep you updated :)

Excavated Poetry

I had penned this poem in eighth standard for Teacher's Day celebrations but somehow I never recited it for reasons I fail to recall. I remembered about this poem when I was asked to contribute for the same event in engineering college, so I rummaged through my papers(full of scribblings in illegible handwriting) and was lucky enough to find the poem. But yet again, the poem did not see the light of the day.

There goes the history of the poem. Now go ahead and read it!

It's amazing

how we started with,

One block by me,

The other by you,

Never noticed when you turned those blocks

into steps.

Steps that led me,

Towards light and knowledge.

And that's when realisation dawned,

It's amazing

The word 'teacher',

Because you teach me,

Whenever I err.

Happy teacher's day!

P.S. If you are thinking that this does not qualify as a poem, you may be right. But try thinking from the point of view of a fourteen year old and it may not appear that bad.

Forever Burdened

I am someone who goes around with a burden on my shoulders. And my heart sometimes. I cannot step out of my house without a bag-even if it is a polythene one, I would carry it. I don't know what to do with empty hands and sometimes I fear that I am suffering from alien hand syndrome(wherein your limbs perform action contrary to your wishes. Scary, na?), so I need to keep them occupied.

I cannot fathom how people can travel without carrying essential things with them. Now this is a fairly common sight amongst guys but it amazes me when I see girls doing the same thing. I wonder how it feels to be so light.

It goes without saying that I possess lots of bags to carry my things around.Correction: I possess lots of huge bags. My college sack was roomy enough to stuff myself in and it was so complete in itself that all I had to do was pick it up and head off to my destination. Same goes for my handbag which has large number of confusing compartments but nevertheless helpful to keep me organized. Oh, and there is this light blue handbag gifted to me by my cousin brother(the only male I know to have a fantastic taste in handbags. His previous handbag was absolutely suited for me but unfortunately was ruined by Mom.) which is also of a decent size. Then there is this cross strap jean bag when I want to feel all college-ish.

I still can't stop goggling at those clutch purses women carry while travelling. Sure it's handy and small but does it hold your cellphone? No. The woman would be struggling to carry the clutch in one hand, cellphone in other and hoping that a third hand would sprout to grip the rod while climbing in the train.

What my bag holds is a mystery to my friends. They derive great pleasure in lifting my bag a few feet above and then leaving it upon gravity to do the rest while I try to maintain my balance and dignity. So I will let you have a peek at the insides of my companion along with justification as to why I carry certain items along.

1. Identity proof

I never bothered carrying one until one friend told me why it is important. With all the blasts and accidents happening around, she advised me to keep it just in case.. you know... I happen to land up in hospital, my folks won't have to go checking out every hospital. How very thoughtful.

2. College essentials

Includes ID(absolutely compulsory in college), library card(rarely used) and fee receipt.

3. Tissue paper

To clean up the rain water on seats or to lend to a weepy folk.

4. Smart Card and Coupons

The queues at station are always long but I have an added disadvantage- my luck. I am so lucky that the window at which I stand for a ticket either shuts down on my turn to buy ticket or the window closes prematurely when I am halfway through. Save time and print a ticket. Or punch a coupon. Or punch the station master for non-functioning ATVMs and CVMs.

5. Girlie stuff

Hairbrush, lip balm, clip etc. No justification whatsoever.

5. Polythene bag

I suffer from travelling sickness though the nauseating sensation is limited to ST buses and vehicles spiraling along ghats. I don't feel like spoiling the interiors of mode of transport and and make other people feel sick so the polythene bag.

6. Bottle of water

Forever thirsty being that I am, I don't take the risk of gulping water from a public tap nor am I snobbish and environment-unfriendly to buy bottled water for every trip I undertake.

7. Books

To keep me company when the journey takes too long or the co-passengers are absolutely boring. It is one of the most essential things and I get restless when I cannot feel the familiar reassuring lump inside my bag.

8. Food

For my hyperactive metabolism.

9.Umbrella

Seasonal item.Duh!

10. Miscellaneous

Gift wrappings of a memorable present, ticket of an awesome trip, a non-functioning watch which I always fail to fix up, tablets past their expiry date, dried petals of a flower that caught my fancy and so on.

So what do you carry around? I could do with some suggestions to add to my list ;)

Booked For Life

Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled "This could change your life."

- Helen Exley

My blog template is enough to indicate my love for books and reading. It is the only thing keeping me sane these days when I am cooped up at home with nothing particular to do. I take to books as a fish to water and should anyone attempt to separate me from my love, it is met with disastrous consequences.

I was none of those boisterous, screaming, mischief- mongering child and hence was any parent's dream come true. Never had I, in my living memory, thrown a tantrum over something or embarrassed my parents by indulging in naughty fun. When I look back now, I think I was more of an observer- keen to see everything but with a step back so as not to get too involved, though I can say this trait got buried as I grew up. I was content reading the newspaper and when everyone was having a siesta at noon, I used to pull out the children's magazines (Champak, Gokulam etc.) and enter my own fantasy world. One of my favorite hobbies was writing down the words I heard on television and get it corrected from father. Then those words would be consulted in the dictionary for their proper meaning and used/abused in everyday life till it was imprinted on my mind.

There have been times when I am reading a book and a particular paragraph or phrase has mirrored my very own situation. This accidental stumbling turns out to be a savior during my rough patches or when I am just feeling low. I just clutch the books and thank my lucky stars for giving me a sign resolving my predicament. I don't boast of a collection because I have relied heavily on borrowing and books off Thane or Andheri station but I do plan to start buying them once I start earning which is an era away.

Just like a mother who wouldn't discriminated between her own kids, I can't name one single book which I adore. I love my kids equally whether it is Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist or The Harry Potter series or Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki to name a few. Let's just say that everyone has given me a hand while I climbed the wall of happiness and knowledge and when I looked down, they all smile indulgently at me, ready to hold me should I ever come crashing down.

But you know why I am in love with books? Because no matter how much time has elapsed and even if you forget them, the books always greet you warmly and not scoff for ignoring them. But the best part is they are the only constants in my life- the people around me will change but the characters and teachings of the book will stand the test of time.

Trust me, I have seen enough chameleons in my life to make me conclude no human is trustworthy(though I still deviate from this principle regularly). So on those bad days when I am exasperated at how much situations and people change, there is this one assurance that somethings in life will always be the same.

Food for Thought

I have to admit it, albeit sheepishly that I am a total foodie. I may be cursed with a low appetite but that doesn't stop me from gorging on food. Now let me make it clear that there is a very fine line of difference between a foodie and a glutton and my small stomach ensures that I don't fall into the latter category.

Being a foodie doesn't imply you fine dine at high-end restaurants and leave with a hole in your pocket. For college students, it is all about finding the best masala tea and the best roadside stall for vada pav and it hasn't been any different for me. Most of my living time on this earth has been spent scouring areas for that ultimate street food and while at the same time turning a blind eye to the not-so-hygienic surroundings. Should you ever happen to mention it to the vendor, he will give you a what-so-you-expect-in-so-less-money expression. Better focus on the food and quietly gulp it.I call it strengthening-the-digestive-system exercise.

I am not that experienced to conjure up a list for foodies but my recommendations have been seconded by many. One of the reasons for my limited experience being the lack of a proper foodie companion. I don't want to end up with someone who wrinkles up his/ her nose looking at the surroundings or cheekily asks the pani-puri vendor if they use mineral water.

So here is my little list of places, in no particular order, which have been a part of my foodie adventure -

1. Vada pav near Terna Engineering College bang opposite Nerul(W) Railway station. The female owner whom we call Aunty,diligently served us with the Indian burger and we stuck to her with unwavering loyalty. A vada pav cost us three bucks in those golden days but now it has been hiked to a reasonable five. If you are lucky, you might get to lay your hands on bhajis.

2. Frankies at the sole bakery(I fail to recall the name) inside Nerul(E) station complex. It was love at first sight with franky for me. Right from vegeterian delights like manchurian franky(highly recommended), noodle franky, paneer franky to various chicken frankies for the non-veggies. And the best part? Not exorbitantly priced, prices start from Rs. 25.

3. This place is right next to the bakery mentioned above and serves the meanest South Indian fare. But the bread masala pakoda is something to die for because they add tomatoes, a rarity.

4. Pani-puri at Bikaner outlets is sumptuous especially since they skip the fattening ragda and opt for moong and boondi. A good consolation for the calorie-conscious people who binge on this treat.

5. Everything at Shri Krishna hotel inside the Vashi station complex is delicious. You can't miss this place if you step out through the main exit from the station. Don't forget to try the masala dosa and jumbo vada pav.

6. I am yet to taste pav bhaji more finger-licking than the one's at Waghe's outlet at Old Panvel. Let you be guided by the aroma of samosas and vada pavs and the buttery pav bhaji to this hole-in-the-wall shop. Should your sensory organs fail you, ask anyone around and they would guide you but not before giving a do-you-live-in-Mars kind of expression.

7. Cocktail juice outside Kurla station and as a side note let me know it is not alcoholic else the whole station area would be full of staggering drunkards. A combination of various fruit juices and flavoured ice-creams in a large glass tumbler makes for a pretty sight. When you have recovered from the cold headache thanks to the really cold contents, stand back(can't say sit back because you are lucky to get a foothold in the area near the stall) and relish the blast of various flavors. Don't even bother counting them- I lost count at five.

8. Biryani and all non-vegetarian fare at Tirupati Prasad opposite Nerul(E) Railway station(again :|) at absolutely affordable prices makes it my favourite spot when I am low on money(which is quite frequently). Don't miss out the chicken lollipops and chicken chilly .

9. I have taken a fancy for Mongnis outlets nowadays and waste no time taking home various pastries which make you go ooooooohhhhhh.... with the sheer amount of cream oozing out. Conizza(pizza in a cone) is a unique delicacy which you shouldn't miss.

10. Auberge(hope I spelt it right) on the Panvel-Matheran Road opposite New Panvel Petrol pump, though it has been a long time I visited it. Anything you pick up is lip-smacking and easy on the wallet. The last time I landed there, I enjoyed a medium sized pizza for thirty five buck flat. My friends recommend the non-vegetarian food there and I am waiting for an opportunity to attack the food there with a vengeance :D

I would love to add places to this list so put in your recommendations. Only two conditions apply- good food and fair pricing. Happy gorging till then!

Energy and more

Oh well, I have been hatching eggs at home since the past three months and while many would happily trade places, the point I am trying to make is I can't manage to stay still for a few minutes. So you can imagine how restless I have become over the past few months.


But what I find weird is that my feet are behaving as if they commute for hours and are really tired. One look at them and you will know something is wrong. I feel as if my entire (mental) exhaustion gets concentrated there and no one has been able to give me any satisfactory explanation for the same. Some help would be appreciated readers.


All this while, I have been doing a lot of reading to the point that my eyes are shooting off signals to slow down a bit while my mind gobbles books and later ruminates over the day to relish every word,every phrase and quote.


I have been following and while the blogger updates with less frequency, I couldn't be more fascinated with the entire concept of energy management. We all have our favorite spot in the room and most of the times we can't pinpoint a single reason for it. I believe it has got to do more with the fact that you are tuned to that place and hence likely to assimilate the energy. Observe a child for that instance. He seems to follow a particular path to a specific place in your home and that will help you draw up a picture of how energy flows. The kid is likely to avoid cluttered spots since it emanates negativity.

'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne(go drown yourself if you haven't heard of the book)concludes that the events in our life are the consequence of our thinking, whose power remains largely unacknowledged and untapped. To explain the book in a gist, it says that you can invite favorable events in life by occupying the mind with a steady stream of positivity. For example, make space in the house for a new person if you wish to have a life partner. Get clothes of the size you wish to fit in instead of cribbing over the ever-expanding waistline. Constantly imagine the offer letter in your mail and make up a list of things you want to purchase with your salary, if you are pining for a job. It is not without reason that cute pictures of cuter babies adore the home of an expecting woman.


Have you read Richard Bach's 'The Bridge across Forever'? I found it an average book but there is one section wherein the protagonist is trying to imagine himself taking flight(guy's a pro flyer) but somehow the vision is blurry. The reason, as it is later on revealed, is because he was not supposed to be taking flight. He gets a call from his friend/future lover and chucks going to airport. So what I do is, every time I am in a quandary over some action, I envision myself involved in that activity and if the picture is too grainy, I ditch the plan. Mind you, you don't want to spend every living moment like this to come to a conclusion. You got to decide without involving visions for petty things like if you should buy that oh-so-sexy dress. Leave the vision thing for the stickier phases of life.


So you get the basic idea? Now here is the truth. It is NOT EASY. To envisage a rosy future when your present is in dumps is taxing on the soul. When you feel wretched, all we can think of is curl up in a ball, draw the blinds and weep. I had a hard time to get into grips with a personal crisis and believe me, my imagination ground to a halt. But I was determined to bring the sunshine back into my life. Everyday before sleeping, I imagined clouds labelled 'grief', 'desolation' and other sad words moving out of my scope of vision and focussed on the beaming sun(complete with the smiley face we used to draw in our kiddie days).


So now you all know I had a happy ending only I wouldn't completely agree. The grief-causing agent didn't exactly vanish from my life, only I faced the situation with a resilience and a bulldog spirit to piece myself together.I now realize that tough times don't just evaporate, it is you who becomes valiant to face it.

Do you have stories to share about your brush with the mystical power of thoughts? Do share them with me, would love to hear them since I would like to relate to experiences apart from my own. Keep smiling :)

Being Patient With Patience

Patience is the bane of the needy. I have observed that our patience is tested and I mean really, really tested whenever we are in dire need of something. People say it a virtue, I say it is a necessary evil. You have to display patience not because it an indicator of your character but because you are left with absolutely no option.


There are so many instances to prove so. Take for example a queue at the railway station. I completely fail to understand why all the ticket windows cannot open at rush hour timings unless the railway authorities are a bunch of dung-heads to not realizes the obvious. So anyways, we are now forced to stand in the queue and while a few scheming individuals are conjuring up some plan to jump the queue, the remaining ones resign to their destiny and wait. No matter how much we crib, we HAVE TO shut up and be patient.


Mumbai University is famous for its inefficiency. I still don't understand why so much importance is attached to the MU stamp on mark sheet considering most of the pass-outs are complete baboons. According to the general rules, results must be declared within 45 days. It is preposterous to think they are going to stick to the deadline so now even after 45+45 days we stay patient and wait and wait and wait.


Job-seekers will agree with me that the company where you are begging for a job will treat you like dirt. If it would have been any other situation, our ego would have bubbled forth and heavy duty words like self-respect are dropped in the conversation. But in the above mentioned situation, we swallow our ego and put up with a smile. Patience anyone?


My conclusion from past experiences all point out to one fact- there is a sliver of difference between patience and tolerance and most of the times they are indistinguishable. The next time you mention patience as a virtue, think again. You might have little idea what you are talking about.

Season of Memories

Let us admit it, we Indians are absolutely in love with the monsoon. We treat the season Like a parent tracking it's baby's progress and gushing over it's every burp, barf and belch. And not to forget how we dutifully incorporate it in our every conversation. Whether it drizzles or pours,the news channels always have a hour hour special on it and with such huge publicity, it could put even Rakhi Sawant to shame.

I share a love-hate relationship with monsoon. As long as I am safe inside my house getting warm with a hot cuppa tea, I enjoy the rains pattering on the roof. But the moment I have to step out in the same rainfall I was enjoying a few moments back, my mood does a flip and all I do is grumble, complain ad rant. So here is a mixed bag of monsoon related memories in no specific order :

Memory #1
I remember once my school bus had got stuck in muck and tilted to one side but not in a precarious manner. All the kids were howling and someone's father appeared and I remember his dramatic entry too well wherein he yelled for his child and then scooped the girl and went off. Soon a few more parents appeared and the howling subsided as they took home the noisy sources. Only handful of us remained, each glancing hopefully outside only to be disappointed.

Memory #2
Once when I was at my native place, a woman was killed when the roof of a tank got swept away during heavy rains and came flying at her. For the next few months, I always scanned the skies warily during monsoons for a flying tank lid.

Memory #3
We used to create these mini tents with umbrella and play a new version of ghar-ghar.

Memory #4
I have learnt not to fall for all-season sandals because thanks to them I arrived home but only after the ritual of slipping every ten meters when it was raining badly.

Memory #5
Long back when waterproof bags were not a rage, the water managed to seep inside my bag and drown every book within. The happiness I felt knowing that I won't have textbooks to study for a while was out of this world.

Memory #6
I loved getting drenched in the rains. My building friends set a date and if it rained that day we would rush down and dance. Some aunty would get generous and serve us onion bhajiyas. Absolute bliss.

Memory #7
The 26/7 floods saw me shifting goods from the houses on ground floor to my place. The next morning, I was scrubbing utensils in the rain because we had no water supply. But the memory that sticks is having breakfast, lunch and dinner with the building folks all united by a disaster but sharing the common hope of sailing through it and rebuilding our lives.

Memory #8
The rains make you thoughtful. I have lost count of the times when I sit at the window and reminiscence over life. Sometimes they veer towards the negative aspects but the thoughts match the weather appropriately - dark,gloomy and moist.

Memory #9
Last year, we college people created a ruckus asking for a swine-flu holiday. The crowd was ready to bash up the cruel Princy but seeing the crowd, his expressions changed. That was the first time I was part of the demonstration and it would have been more fun if stone-throwing was on the agenda but I was sorely disappointed.

Memory #10
This is the best memory of all. Every time it rains heavily and if I am travelling by train, I scamper towards the door and stand there to let the rain patter on me. Such pleasures I tell you.

Girls jus wanna have fun

My life seems to have stuck in a rut and my daily routine is an endless cycle consisting on mainly two activities- eating and sleeping. While that might seem like a dream schedule for most folks but for me it was a hopeless situation to be in. A trip to Pune did refresh me and help me put on a few pounds, but then I was back to square one in terms of my schedule.

Now one of the few grouses I have about being a girl (or should I say women since I am now in my 20s) is that there are absolutely nil chances of a night out with friends. No amount of convincing works and the end result is that I end up sulking the day later after listening to all the fun other had. So was quite happy when I got an invitation for an all girls night out!

For a few minutes, it's hard to believe that the permission part was so easily handled all thanks to the spanking clean reputation of my friend. Her generous mom fed up chicken fried rice and manchurian which was absolutely finger-licking good and off we were to the privacy of the room.

Now the fun part of this all-gals extravaganza is that we didn't have to think up of any activity and settled for the one which comes easily to us - chatting. I don't even remember the topics now considering we chatted for around five hours. For a person who crashes to bed at ten, it was a miracle I stayed awake for so long.

After discussing about every single person we know, we had inadvertently started talking about marriage and it was with dread that I realised that such thoughts occupied so much time of our living moments. Like my friend rightly said "Now we are talking like twenty-two year old people". Oh did I add that all the talks were not without a generous sprinkling of giggles?

3 am seemed too early a time to sleep for a night out so we fished out Uno cards. Now the problem is I don't know how to play the game (don't you drop open you mouth in horror) so the two of them ganged up against me to the extent that I was finding it bloody hard to hold so many cards in my hand. Finally I learned the ropes of game and managed to beat them.Ha! After a few more games and having stuffed our mouth with chips and Pepsi (it's impossible to imagine life without these artery-choking and teeth-eroding stuff), we forced ourselves to sleep at 5 am. All the time I was hoping someone would walk the empty lane near our window and scare their wits out. hard luck though.

I realised that going out with gals is therapeutic. We are so much surrounded with male friends, that somehow I have to stop myself from blabbering about my latest shopping trip because the responses I get are usually nodding and if I am lucky they might even grunt a few indecipherable words. So I recommend a night out for all those female souls who feel all gagged up.And to help them I have put up a list of all the things which you should never miss on a girlie pajama get-together.

Things to do on a all-gal night out (in no order of importance whatsoever)
1. Chuck the damn diet and stuff yourself.
2. Talk about every thing you bought in the last few months, even if it includes a hairbrush.
3. Crib about at least one person who has been giving you a tough time.
4. Don't fall asleep before 5 am and if someone attempts to suggest hitting the sack before that, react with horrified expressions.
5. Talk like a feminist and conclude that women are way superior than men.
6. Confess to something which draws gasps and other extreme reactions.
7. Snatch each others cellphones and read all the private messages loudly with all the right expressions.
8. Give the night-care ritual of brushing, washing, cleansing, toning, moisturizing and what not a miss and should anyone attempt to do so, accuse them of being a traitor to womanhood.
9. Play cards with rules modified according to convenience.
10. Giggle, giggle and giggle.

All the best gals!

Torn Between Two Worlds

I think enough has been said about Indian woman's meteoric rise to a level where she has consolidated her position as an equal in our patriarchal society. India has come home to the idea of women empowerment and that is something to cheer about.

But along with this empowerment, comes the thorn of making difficult decisions in life. This whole concept of freedom hasn't yet managed to touch even the semi-urban areas, forget rural areas. The whole idea of educating a girl child for some people at least is to snatch off a suitable guy for their daughter. Educated girls are in vogue baby.

The girl, happy that her parents are so keen to educate her, puts in her best efforts and more often than not has a very bright academic future ahead of her. The girl with her new founded independence and flush with confidence gets a decent job and suddenly she is in this league of 'successful women'.

The parents proudly show off the latest additions in their house thanks to the extra money coming their way. 'Now only if we find a suitable groom for her' they think. The girl is now a woman who has managed to break from her cocoon now views the world with a fresh perspective and is now all starry-eyed and ambitious.

Time for some drama. Parents set off on groom-hunting with the educational qualifications and job earning them brownie points. The girl at the most will object weakly but then has to give up in face of their parent's blackmailing. She gets married and they live happily ever after. End of story? Hardly.

You see this woman wishes to keep her job but now is burdened with additional responsibilities towards her new household. Her typical schedule includes waking up at god-forsaken hours, cooking up a meal and dashing off to work. And all this time if she is lucky she might get some assistance from her husband or his family, but the chances are slim. She slogs at work, jostles for space in the oxygen-deprived train compartment and then cooks the dinner. I don't even need to mention her situation when she has kids.

This basically sums up the life of an average Indian women, the keyword being average. Of course most people would argue and might criticize about my regressive summation of our life, but take a honest look around and you will see what I mean. It is not about you or me, it's the story of the majority.

The problem with us is that we are revered like Devis and people expect us to have ten hands. While the typical Indian women wants to keep pace with the world, there are number of commitments which she can't ignore. For once, we are an emotional lot and most often than not we are torn between the two worlds and desperately try to strike a balance. The same woman who records an exponential growth at her company would still quit her job to take care of her family. All for love. What I do expect from the male lot is to respect her. While this all sounds so simple, trust me, most woman haven't yet managed to get the respect they deserve even in the urban environment.

I found this really profound e-mail being circulated during Woman's Day and I had an 'Aha' moment because it mirrors my feelings. In much beautiful words though.

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain;
to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her;
and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstained support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

The Five Lessons of My Life

To be very frank, as a child I used to find it really hard to stay close to reality. For me, ‘seeing is believing’ and not once did I doubt the authenticity of what fascinated me. For once I was hugely influenced by Bollywood. I used to watch with huge, saucer-shaped eyes the scenic locations and the action scenes, not to forget the quintessential romance consisting of mainly song and dance sequences and running around the trees. But then, there was always something to pull me back to reality. For example, when I tried to float the dupatta in the air so that it would land softly on me but it had disastrous consequences. The dupatta, unfortunately was entangled in the fan and then I realized that Bollywood is not so real. So lesson#1 was to never ever believe Bollywood!

That was my ‘stop-acting-like-a-fool-and-get-real’ phase that I encountered quite early in life. I opened my eyes to the world but made sure that I kept my rose-tinted glasses aside. Unfortunately civilization takes strides while you manage to trundle along. It was tough to comprehend the world around you and you had to peel of the layers off people to see what actually lay underneath and more often than not, I was repulsed by the grim underbelly of someone’s personality. Lesson#2 was to never judge a person on the first meeting itself.

Okay, I got to admit it I suck at gossip. For half of the time I can’t comprehend why people seem to be so interested in the love life of some stranger. If that person is my friend then yes I would be curious to know the facts, but the truth will only come from the concerned person. So I don’t understand why people dissect other’s lives and at the risk of sounding sexist, I say it’s a female domain majorly. But the downside of showing disinterest is that you usually end up being alone and lose out on a major chance to socialize. The worst part is when you show undue enthusiasm to actively participate and when you end up saying something you shouldn’t have. Lesson#3 – Listen, nod, add a few over-the-top expressions but never speak in a way that might turn out against you. The real gossip mongers will always find out a way out of the mess anyway, so never enroll to be a scapegoat.

I find it hard to be a chamcha. I never make hasty judgments (thanks to lesson#2) and being the hopeless optimist that I am, I always try to look out for something good in the person instead of negative qualities. But nowadays I find it really hard to notice someone’s bright side for the simple reason they got no good left in them! And I reach this conclusion after being repeatedly hurt by that person. I give chances but after a limit you can’t take it. So such people move to my ‘evil’ list and after that I find it increasingly difficult to maintain a straight face while talking to such people. So I find it surprising that two people who still talk ill of each other but maintain to act as if nothing happened for the simple reason that they share a symbiotic relation. Give some, take some. So even if it was tough to me to accept, I realized I was losing out on a lot of things by giving the loser thunderous expressions. Lesson#4- Don’t be a chamcha, but at least be cordial with the villian.

Chocolate or butterscotch ice-cream? If you had asked me this question a few years ago I would be in a singular state of mind- confused. So my thoughts would be-I like chocolate but I had it a few days ago so should I try butterscotch? But what if it doesn’t turn out good enough? Is there a third flavor? So you see when the mind is clouded with silly questions, it was tough to take a decision. To top it all, there would be people advising you about what your next course of action should be. I am okay with advice, but I hate it when someone forces me. And I am not talking only about ice-cream, I am talking about life. If there is anything that I have learned in the twenty-two years of my existence is that the best decisions were the ones taken by me. Alone. Advice is great and you need to do a good deal of thinking on your options but you shouldn’t accept anyone’s advice just because they had a great track record. They are humans, baby and as vulnerable to fads and foibles as you. So my lesson#5 is to never drown out your inner voice because it’s the only asset you got.

So I sum up the major lessons of my life although I have learnt a few minor lessons too. Like never lie to mom that you didn’t steal cookies when you have crumbs on you face, never dream about Subway sandwiches because you wont be able to concentrate the whole day and to never run when not necessary because most of the time you end up on your face. Minor lessons but they are life altering. Trust me.

Waterproof Farewell

Well, to begin with, I attended the farewell party of my B.E. batch on the 30th of April. Everyone was quite excited about it because apparently this was the first 'official' party organised by the college for the outgoing batch. So the girls all looked pretty decked up in saris and the guys looked handsome in their best formals.

It is quite normal to expect lots of teary goodbyes and hours spent reminiscing cherished moments spent in the college. But I suprised myself by keeping my emotions under check. For a girl who cries at the drop of a hat, all I did was sniffle with moist eyes.

Imagine a situation where you have been diagnosed with some terminal illness. You know your days on this planet are numbered and this realisation occurs after much self-denial so that when the final moment arrives, you will have done enough things to make you happy. When our life becomes time-bound, we start sticking to our 'Things-to-do' list more diligently,carefully chalking out plans so that you can tick off one item after another. I guess most of my friends are in the same situation.

When I was in Third Year, I knew the end of college was imminent and suddenly I found myself observing time. When in the early years of college, you wouldn't even notice certain things around you,owing largely to the 'taken-for-granted' attitude. But now, I started taking in the atmosphere and made a more conscious effort to personalize my experiences. For example, I started enjoying time at the lake occasionally feeding the fishes and enjoying the sight of the school of fishes breaking the calm of water to catch bits of food. Or for that case, checking out benches where I has scribbled random thoughts or etched my name out during a boring lecture. Or checking out every single dish in the canteen which you didn't try in the previous years. Or hugging someone for no reason.

When your life is spent experiencing such things, you hardly get time to mourn the end. You happily accept it because you have a buffer of beautiful memories which will protect you while you hurl down a dark chasm of uncertainty and darkness. I realize that farewells are necessary to help you filter out people and stay in touch with those who really mattered. We were insecure when we stepped from school to junior college and then to senior college but in spite of the hundreds of friendships that were forged, we tend to remember only those who have touched our lives. So let us not think of this farewell as something nasty and a grim reminder of the big bad world ahead of us. Let us think of it as an opportunity to enjoy a new phase in our life where we will be enjoying our hard-earned money and well-deserved freedom. Cheers to that!